Speaker 1: 0:13

Welcome to Roots of the Rise with me, sarah Hope. In today's third episode in our six-part series, all about the different ways we can practice self-care, we're going to talk about taking care of our mind and emotions. Well, they are not the same. They are so intertwined we may as well address both at once. So let's get started.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Emotions are an essential part of being alive. They are what make us human. No one goes through life without feeling something. We hope that it's going to be joy and peace and awe and other pleasant emotions, but no life exists without sorrow, fear and anger. You know, the crazy thing is that while we all experience a range of positive to negative emotions, the majority of us are never taught what to do with those sometimes intense feelings. That's changing these days, but there's a large number of us who never really got an emotional education or we got one that taught us how to shove down our emotions, ignore them, push them aside, not actually process them.

Speaker 1: 1:24

And you know, our emotions have tremendous pull. They can hijack us when we are least expecting it. Sometimes we aren't even aware of the emotion we're feeling, let alone what triggered it within us. You know, you hear sometimes that emotions are the driver behind our behavior. You know we feel sad, we overeat that's me. One of the few ways my mom showed love was through always having sweet baked goods around, so I grew to kind of equate love with brownies. You know we get depressed, we get tired, we stop feeling motivated, we start thinking about, you know, being depressed and all the reasons why we're depressed, and we just end up feeling more sad being depressed and all the reasons why we're depressed and we just end up feeling more sad. However, what we really actually get triggered by is our beliefs about our world. It's the beliefs we have that create the emotional reaction. So beliefs are truly the main source of sustaining an emotion. You know, often these beliefs are subconscious and are being expressed through emotion, and they can really limit us when it comes to trying to create change in our world or even our health.

Speaker 1: 2:34

So what do we do? How do we take care of our emotional health and the mental concepts that may be triggering unwelcome feelings within us? So, first of all, we have to just cultivate awareness, and we can do that by simply starting to ask ourselves questions about how we relate to our emotions. Like you know, do you control your emotions or do your emotions control you? Do you have any emotions that you really struggle with, either good or bad, because some people struggle just as much with joy as they do with anger. You know what would it mean for your life if you were able to experience difficult emotions without difficulty. You know to be angry but to not lash out, to feel shame without spiraling into self-hatred, to experience profound joy without foreboding. You know what's your baseline emotion Like.

Speaker 1: 3:32

What do you feel throughout most of the day? Is it something you want to feel, like a general sense of being content or not? Do you have kind of an underlying sense of anxiety all the time, uh, or not? Do you have kind of an underlying sense of anxiety all the time? You know and wreck I fully recognize, I should, we all that you know.

Speaker 1: 3:50

If you recognize that you don't like what your underlying emotion is, uh, the next step is to try to change it, and that's far easier said than done. So not trying to oversimplify things here, it can be really challenging, but you've got to start somewhere, and cultivating awareness of your emotions, being aware of how you're feeling, is a really good place to start, and it's a form of self-care, because, at their core emotions are simply feedback. Anger is there to tell you that perhaps a boundary has been breached. Grief is there to remind you how important something was to you. Depression is there to tell you that perhaps a boundary has been breached. Grief is there to remind you how important something was to you. Depression is there to tell you that there is something about your life that is off course and you need to change it. So, instead of resisting emotions, simply allowing yourself to be aware of them and asking what they're telling you is one fantastic form of emotional self-care. Secondly, we need to provide ourselves with a support system that's able to help us work through our difficult emotions and the beliefs that created them.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Do you have someone you can talk to about what you're going through? Whether it's a trained professional or simply a loved one, we all need someone to turn to. We'll talk about that more tomorrow when we talk about social self-care. But you are not meant to go through life trying to figure everything out on your own. You can do it. It's just really hard. So do you have a person or people to talk to?

Speaker 1: 5:21

There are also activities that you can do that can help you process emotion and your beliefs around them. One is stream of consciousness writing. I've talked about it before. You just sit down, set a timer for five to 10 minutes and write every day. You might do it on like an intentional certain topic where you're really trying to kind of figure out something that's bothering you. Or maybe it's just a brain dump to kind of set up what you want your day to look like. I talk more about that in the journaling episode that I did whatever last week, so you can look into that if you're kind of interested in more writing prompts.

Speaker 1: 6:03

The bottom line here is that we all need healthy ways to process our emotions and we need strategies to help us recover when we feel drained by them. Things like going for a walk, taking a bath, meditating, exercising all of those help. You have to figure out which ones help you the most and the best thing to do is have a plan ready to go the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or stressed or angry, whatever the emotion is that you have the most time processing. Make a list of five things you can do that you know will help you move through the emotion versus getting stuck in it or repressing it. And you know when we talk mental self-care. Sure, a lot of it has to do with this emotional aspect, but we have to understand that it's our beliefs that are underneath the emotions.

Speaker 1: 6:52

A good question to ask if you find yourself really upset about something is what am I believing right now? Say your husband forgets your anniversary and it really upsets you. Why? What are you believing? That he doesn't care, that he doesn't love you, that he doesn't want to make an effort anymore? Say you never get a thank you note for the really expensive, thoughtful wedding gift you gave. You're hurt. Why? Because you're believing that they didn't appreciate it, that it didn't mean anything to them. Our beliefs drive everything. So what are you believing? Also, what are you doing to stimulate your mind? Are you in a hamster wheel, doing the same thing every day? Are you in that grind of going to work, coming home, plopping on the couch and watching the news? Because if so, I'd be surprised if you didn't feel emotionally unwell.

Speaker 1: 7:45

You know our brains, our mental self. They need stimulation, good, positive stimulation. Consciousness is creative. So what you expose yourself to, what you do repeatedly, is going to deeply impact you. So do you have good, positive, fun things to do? It doesn't have to be big and extravagant, you know. It could be doing puzzles or reading a book, whether it's fiction and just for fun or it's, you know, to help you deepen an understanding of a topic. It could even be watching movies or playing video games. You know screen time gets a bad rap, and with good reason. But I got to tell you, you know, we recently got a Nintendo Switch and we play as a family every night and we have a ball. We're talking the whole time devising strategies to win the team game. You know, cheering each other on or giving each other a hard time I mean it is honestly good quality time that also offers a really nice mental break for all three of us. I mean, we all look forward to it.

Speaker 1: 8:51

That's mental self-care. Now, if we were doing it for hours every day, that'd be different. So you know, discernment is important. But what we want to kind of consider is simply are you making enough time in your life for things that keep your mind awake and active and engaged? Are you learning something every week? If you're listening to this podcast, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess yes, and that's great. You know. It's just, we all need to do this in some capacity, in whatever form, works best for us, and it doesn't even have to be every day, it could be quarterly.

Speaker 1: 9:27

I try to schedule a weekend training every quarter for myself where I completely get away from my normal life and I spend, you know, even if it's just like two nights away, learning something new and being out of routine. It is such a big part of my mental, emotional, self-care. I started doing it when my son was two and a half years old because I was in the middle of my craniosacral therapy training and I had to do it quarterly. And when the training finished I realized that not only was I so sad that it was done just because of the wonderful friendships I had made and the fact that I loved the material and my mentors, but but also because I so yearned for that time away. I would come back and be so engaged and excited to be back in my you know quote unquote normal life. It was so beneficial for me on so many levels and that's why, even though my training has been done for whatever it is over a year, I still continue to make an effort to seek out those trainings and the meditation retreats, whatever it is, to be able to give that to myself, because I know I am a better wife, a better mom, a better practitioner, a better friend, a better person. For the time that I take away Now.

Speaker 1: 10:51

I know sometimes we can feel a little bit of guilt for doing that. I certainly did when I first began the training because, you know, my son was little, he was only two and a half. But now I don't feel any guilt whatsoever because it's so clearly beneficial for me and for everyone in my life. So give that gift not just to you but, you know, to the people in your world. Support the people in your world if it's something they want to do for themselves. Okay, one more point.

Speaker 1: 11:22

It is a really important aspect of mental and emotional self-care to be careful about exposing yourself to toxicity. And what I mean by that is if you spend all day listening to the news, or if the news is the first and last thing you do every day, you might find it really challenging to stay positive. Not that we want to bury our heads in the sand, but there's a fine line between staying aware and setting yourself up for immense stress on a daily basis. You know, the news shows us all the way humanity hasn't figured itself out yet, and if that's all you're seeing, it could be pretty terrifying and unsettling. So be careful about that. And the news is just one example.

Speaker 1: 12:05

You know, take time right now to figure out what activities or situations actually increase your mental and emotional suffering. Situations actually increase your mental and emotional suffering. Ask yourself right now what are the three things that are causing the most stress in your life, and then what can you do about them? I mean, in the news example limit your exposure. If it's your job, well then what can you do situationally to help with that? Breathing practices, taking a walk at lunch, a quick meditation break.

Speaker 1: 12:37

If it's your finances finances cause so much stress for people, especially these days. Well, take stock, make a budget, get serious about fixing your financial outlook. So often we avoid instead of confronting. So, right now, take a moment and figure out what do I need to confront in my life, what do I need to make an effort to change? All of this takes awareness, the willingness and ability to stop and pay attention to what's going on, what is creating emotional or mental stress in your life, and then take stock and figure out how you can proactively affect change.

Speaker 1: 13:24

That's all for today. Tomorrow we'll be talking about social self-care and why it is so important. Have a great rest of your day and remember, know who you are, love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal and seek the support you need to thrive.