Speaker 1: 0:06

If you've ever felt like life is happening to you instead of through you, if you struggle to know what you truly want or find yourself constantly following the expectations of others instead of your own heart, this episode is for you. Welcome to Roots of the Rise with me, sarah Hope, offering bite-sized insights and practices where spiritual wisdom meets practical tools to support your health, healing and happiness. Today, we're talking about personal will, what it is, how it gets buried and why. Reclaiming it is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward living a life that feels authentic. Claiming it is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward living a life that feels authentic, energized and fully yours. By the end of this conversation, you'll have a deeper understanding of how your will has shaped your life so far and practical insight into how to reconnect with it so you can act with confidence, trust your choices and feel truly empowered in every area of your life.

Speaker 1: 1:06

I started playing the violin when I was three. My mom would say it was because I wanted to, but now, looking back, I'm not so sure. Likely it was a mix of both. I had a talent for it, but I was also responding to what she wanted. I played two styles classical and Celtic. I loved fiddling, but classical I did it because I was required to, and you could tell I practice with half my heart for classical and fully for fiddling. That's the difference between doing something because you have to and doing something because your heart calls you to it. That's the difference between compliance and true will.

Speaker 1: 1:40

True will asks a lot of us. It requires deep communication with ourselves, trust in our own choices and the courage to take risks and accept the consequences. Finding this authenticity can be really hard, especially when we've spent years doing what someone else wanted us to do, believing it was the only way we could be loved. At the emotional level think of second chakra in energy work we may feel like victims of our circumstances, that we had no choice but to comply. Sometimes that's literally true. For example, kids growing up in religious families that reject LGBTQ plus identities may have to hide a core part of themselves just to survive. That feeling of powerlessness is real. But here's the thing feeling powerless can actually be the fuel that helps us step into our power. Acknowledging the pain, the victimization, doesn't mean staying stuck in it. It means getting in touch with our unmet needs, which can become the spark that drives our conscious, authentic choices. When we suppress our will, it doesn't disappear. It shows up as its shadow. This can look like passive-aggressive sabotage or reactive rebellion that feels loud but isn't strategic. True will, on the other hand, is deliberate. It's conscious, it's aligned with who we genuinely are.

Speaker 1: 3:13

The first step in developing your will is recognizing that you already have one and it's been working all along. Everything in your life, from your clothing to your friends to your home, is a product of your will, even if unconsciously, feeling powerless doesn't mean you lack will. It just means you haven't connected with how it's already shaping your life. Sometimes life requires us to do things we don't want to do, and that's where a subtle shift can help changing I have to into I choose to. Okay, say, for instance, you don't like your work, and so every morning you wake up thinking, oh, I have to go in today. Well, no, you don't have to. You could quit, but then you wouldn't have the steady income or maybe the health insurance or getting to see you know work friends that you actually really enjoy. So, switching from I have to go into work to I choose to go into work because of all the things it gifts me, even if I don't particularly like the job itself, can make a big difference. I mean, this small change can rewire our relationship with our own will, turning compliance into conscious participation.

Speaker 1: 4:26

Understanding our will also means understanding who we are. Understanding our will also means understanding who we are. Our ultimate purpose, our unique calling, is the truest expression of will. If we don't know who we are in a deep level, it's hard to know what our will wants in any given moment. We need to take full ownership of our will. I mean, sometimes I've heard people say things that, like when they are in doubt they ask themselves what would God have me do? Or what would source or the universe have me do? But that's still turning your power over to something else. What about instead asking how can I serve the world in a way that aligns with who I am? How can I show up in the most authentic way possible? Same essence, but different intention, and intention matters. So we can back up and we can talk about what breaks our will.

Speaker 1: 5:16

Often, I know, broken record, but so often it is our parents. You know, in striving to run a smooth household, some parents whether consciously or unconsciously, they suppress their child's will. Often adults assume kind of a godlike authority, holding the child responsible for their own anger, seeing the child's emotions as threats or squashing any sense of autonomy. Before the child even notices, the message becomes your will isn't yours, it belongs to someone else. That's authoritarian parenting, you know. That establishes complete authority over the child. Decisions, feelings and objections are shut down. The child learns that their inner voice doesn't matter. Is anybody else raising their hand? You know this was once considered good parenting, but it creates adults who act without passion, without the ability to trust themselves or even to feel empowered Without passion, without the ability to trust themselves or even to feel empowered Without will.

Speaker 1: 6:12

How can we resist addiction or manipulation or unhealthy relationships? If we are never allowed to say no without being shamed or guilted, we lose the ability to control our lives. That is definitely what I grew up with, and when we finally break free, often there's a learning curve over what to do with ourselves. My life was so controlled as a kid I almost flunked out of Tufts when I got to college. I had no idea how to manage my time, no idea what actually interested me or how to study or proofread my work. Well, I mean, all of that was done by my parents. Up until that point. I never really had to try all that hard in school because I knew if I missed anything my parents would catch it and very likely fix it for me. So college, having to do it all on my own, that was a rude awakening.

Speaker 1: 7:05

The antidote is supporting autonomy from the start. Simple choices, age-appropriate tasks, genuine delight in the child's efforts, listening for the why behind actions and consistent, compassionate boundaries. That all build inner authority. When parents act for your own good in ways that suppress individuality, children internalize that their needs don't matter. Essentially, as we grow these models of authority, they shape our inner authority, the part of us that says go to bed when you're tired versus stay up all night until you get that task list done. The Stay at the table until you finish the whole plate versus step away when you've had enough. Stand up for yourself when necessary versus just be quiet in the corner. I mean if our parents were tyrannical, passive or critical. That inner authority? It can be harsh, weak or inconsistent. It can even shift depending on context, and gender dynamics often play a role. Daughters and sons may carry projections from parental authoritarian patterns into their adult relationships.

Speaker 1: 8:13

So I know hearing all this can feel a little overwhelming, or maybe you just feel seen. You might be thinking, yep, that was me, or a version of me, and that's okay. You know, the point isn't blame here, it's awareness. It's about knowing who you are. Understanding and reclaiming your personal will is connected to the third chakra, to the seat of personal power. When you know your will, when you trust it, when you act from it, life stops feeling like something happening to you. You become the conscious creator of your own experience, empowered to act, to serve and to live fully.

Speaker 1: 8:50

All right, here are a few journal or thought prompts to help you explore your personal will. First, I choose to Write one thing today that you are doing purely because you want to, not because anyone else expects it or wants it. Two spot the shadow. Where in your life are you acting out of obligation or resistance instead of genuine desire? Name one small way you could shift that and ask yourself what does your true will want? And number three my will, my way. Remember you are the conscious creator of your life. What choices could you make this week that reflect your authentic desires rather than someone else's expectations? What's one choice this week that would honor your true self, even if it feels risky or unfamiliar.

Speaker 1: 9:44

Reclaiming your personal will isn't about blame or regret. It's about awareness, choice and conscious action. It's about recognizing where your will has already shaped your life, noticing where it's been suppressed and taking small, deliberate steps to align your choices with your authentic self. Remember every decision you make, big or small, is an opportunity to honor your true desires and strengthen your inner authority. The more you practice this, the more empowered, confident and alive you'll feel in your own life. Take what resonates from today, reflect on it and start noticing where you can act from your own will rather than someone else's expectation, where you can act from your own will rather than someone else's expectation. Your life is yours to create.

Speaker 1: 10:31

Thanks so much for listening. If you have any questions or want to suggest a topic for me to talk about, please email me at rootsoftherise at gmailcom. I would love to hear from you. Until next time, remember, know who you are, love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal and seek the support you need to thrive.