This episode is for anyone who's heard that awareness is the key to healing, but isn't sure what that really means. If you've ever wondered awareness of what, and why does it matter, this episode is for you. Welcome to Roots of the Rise with me, Sarah Hope, where spiritual wisdom meets practical tools in short, bite-sized episodes. These are tasters, not deep dives, meant to spark curiosity, help you root deeply, rise freely, and remember who you truly are. I was teaching a class the other day and I used the term programs and patterns as I was describing what chakras hold within them. And someone asked me, what do you mean by that? And it kind of threw me for a moment because I feel like it's such a common, you know, phrase, common terminology we use in self-help and personal development context. And also I realized it's actually kind of an important understanding we might want to have because you constantly hear awareness is the key to healing, but awareness of what? Well, programs and patterns. So what do I mean when I say programming? For me, programming is the set of unconscious assumptions, the mind, body, the whole system formed about safety, belonging, love, and survival based on early experiences and repetition. It's not what we think, although that's part of it. Really, it's what we automatically, unconsciously believe and expect. So everything else I'm going to describe fits inside this framework. We all carry programming, and it's shaped by a lot of things. You know, our upbringing, of course. Yeah, that means our parents, once again, you know, family, culture, environment. I mean, have you ever found yourself repeating something your parents said all the time, like crying will never get you anywhere, or you should always put others first? Uh, you know, don't make a scene. These messages often shape how we move through the world, even decades later. Another one, trauma and life experiences. I mean, people talk all the time about how a single traumatic moment reshaped how they moved in the world. Survivors of assault, their sense of safety is forever changed. Having a house fire, I mean, speaking from experience, I'm a little crazy about checking plugs and making sure things are off. Even though my house fire was caused by faulty wiring, not from doing something like leaving the stove on. Another source, the body. The body and the nervous system carry programming too. PTSD is one example of this, showing how experiences can become encoded in the body and influence reactions long after the actual event. Even smaller, repeated stressors, like growing up in a chaotic household, can train your nervous system to respond in certain ways automatically. And another one, in some traditions, past lives. In fact, some people, like Ainsley McLeod, who wrote the old soul's guidebook, goes so far as to say that all our programming is based primarily on past lives. But that would take this episode in an entirely different direction. So let's stay focused. My point is this programming, no matter where it came from, it forms our core assumptions about life, about what feels safe, possible, allowed, or threatening. Programming tends to be formed early and reinforced often, not just by the originator, like your art teacher telling you you are a horrible artist, or family saying, What a shy child you are, but also by you because of confirmation bias. You start looking at your artwork and just seeing all the ways you're messing up. You go into a social situation and you notice that you feel a little uncomfortable. And so you immediately reinforce, oh, that's because I'm shy. Programming also tends to be largely unconscious. We're not aware of it. That's why we are always talking about how awareness is the key to change. Another important thing to note: programming tends to be felt as truth rather than belief. It's felt as truth. There's a great book by Dr. Blaise Aguirre on self-hatred. I talked about an interview with him way back in like episode 19. Uh, and he speaks about how trying to convince a person who hates themselves that they are worthy of love is like trying to convince a bird that it's a fish. It is incredibly difficult because it just feels impossible. The person who hates themselves and doesn't think they're worthy of love, they don't think it. They know that they are worthless. I speak from experience with this one. So I'm gonna give you a few questions here and just understand that it's programming that is giving you your answers here. So as you listen to them, remember there's no right or wrong. Just get curious about what is prompted within you as you hear these questions. So here we go. Is it safe to be here? How safe do you feel on any given day? Are my needs welcome? Are you allowed to have needs? Is it safe to want things, to act, or to lead? Is love conditional or reliable? Is it okay for me to speak my truth? So again, don't get hung up on how you're responding, just be aware and understand that however you are answering, it's programming that is guiding your answer. And our patterns are what that programming produces over time. So patterns are habitual thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationship dynamics. They are repeated coping strategies, whether they're helpful or harmful. They are far more visible and interruptible than programming. You know, our patterns aren't random. They are adaptive responses designed to help us survive and belong based on whatever your system learned early on in life. So a simple way to think about it: programming is what we learned was true. Patterns are how we keep proving it. But here's an important piece we really want to acknowledge. A good program, one that is life-serving, life-enriching, that helps do good things, just having a good programming installed isn't enough. Energy is what activates the system. So when I say energy, energy could be experienced as actual energy, isn't like how much juice you have to actually, how much battery power you have to actually do things in the world. It could be attention, it could be excitement or inspiration, emotional charge, sensation in the body, prana or chi. Without sufficient or well-regulated energy, insight stays intellectual, tools remain unused, healing feels stuck. Many struggles don't come from lack of knowledge or desire. They arise from difficulty activating, sustaining, or regulating energy to run what we've already learned, what we know. We've all experienced this. You start exercising, it feels good, and then you stop for some reason, maybe even justifiable, but then you can't get going again. You find a great person, everything about it is right, you feel like, oh, this is the perfect person for me, except you feel uncomfortable. It's too good. You can't settle into the relationship because you're just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It feels like this isn't sustainable, this is never gonna last, it's too good. We are all energetic beings, and energy is impartial. It doesn't judge the program, it amplifies the program. So when energy flows through unexamined programming, old patterns intensify. This is that feeling of here we go again. I've been here before, I've dated this person just in a different skin suit, I've had this financial crisis before. It's how we get stuck in that hamster wheel. You know, when energy is suppressed or fragmented, even healthy programming can't fully express. This is the I know what I need to do. I've got everything set up so I can do it. So why am I not doing it? When programming is updated and energy is available, change becomes natural rather than forced. And that's really what we're all going for. And all of this explains why high-energy people can still repeat painful cycles. It's just about, it's not just about how much energy, it's about how understood the programming is. So they've got energy to spare, but they don't have the awareness to implement a better, more life-enriching program. It's why calm, well-resourced nervous systems heal faster, because the energy is moving in an intelligent way. And it's also why somatic and energetic work can create shifts that insight alone cannot. I mean, this is the difference between just working from a traditional talk therapy perspective to also engaging with somatic work, with craniosacral therapy, with something that adds in that energetic component. So when we talk about healing in terms of programs and patterns, we're not just talking about quote-unquote fixing the patterns, because while that's great, it's superficial. What we really want is to become aware of the original programming, what's underlying everything, so that we can update it at the level it was formed body, nervous system, chakral, mental, and then restore access to energy so that the new program can actually run. When this happens, patterns often change on their own. I mean, it's why I'm obsessed with the biodynamic craniosacral meditation and energy work combo, because it works on so many levels to both resource and re-energize the system and bring that awareness on multiple levels. You don't just need better tools, you need the energy to run them and the right programming to support them. But for today's purposes, let's talk about ways you can build awareness. Keep in mind, these aren't tools to fix anything, they are practices to observe programming in real time. So, number one, use emotional charge as feedback. Notice moments where your reaction feels disproportionate to what's happening. When something feels bigger than the moment warrants, pause and ask, what does this situation remind my system of? Emotional charge is energy activating programming. The faster you can spot it, the more quickly you can catch things and eventually prevent the spiral into escalation. Number two, similarly, you can use one of my favorite questions when you realize you're having a big emotional or triggered reaction. When you feel yourself spiraling, ask, what am I believing? What belief makes this reaction make sense? This might be something like you catch yourself overexplaining something. Well, you might have a belief that being misunderstood is dangerous because in the past you got fired over a misunderstanding. Or maybe you realize you are shutting down with your partner. Well, ask yourself, what am I believing? Maybe it's that your needs aren't welcome or don't matter. And so even though you're feeling upset about your partner not fulfilling a need of yours, you shut down instead of talking to them about it. Number three, we also want to be aware of our physical body because programming lives in the nervous system. Issues are in the tissues. So when a familiar pattern shows up, don't analyze it. Just notice where it lives in your body. Notice location and then how it feels. Tight, heavy, buzzing, numb, stuck, moving. An important note here: do not try to change the sensation. Again, this isn't about fixing, it's about noticing. You want to be curious. Stay with it 10 to 15 seconds. Does it change? Sometimes simple acknowledgement is enough to start shifting things. Number four, notice long-standing patterns. Not just simple moments, but over time, you can ask yourself if I drew a line through my relationships, money, health, work, what patterns keep repeating with different faces? You can stream a consciousness journal about this. What are the themes? What role do you always end up playing? What feels familiar, even though it hurts? Lastly, number five, begin to check in with yourself when you make decisions. When you are making a choice and you notice there's a conflict between what you want to do and what you're really feeling like you quote unquote should or are supposed to do. Notice what happens in your body, in your beliefs, in your thoughts. Just notice, because this will help you connect patterns back to programming without self-blame. Where programming overrides logic when the supposed to or the shoulds trump everything else, that might be why willpower is failing. I really want you to understand this. Awareness isn't about seeing what's wrong with you. It's about seeing what once kept you safe. Every pattern, every reaction, every habit you've noticed or are going to notice, it wasn't random. It had a positive purpose. It served you, it protected you in some way, helped you survive, helped you belong. Now, with awareness, you can see it clearly, not to judge it, not to fix it, but to simply understand it. When you bring kind, curious attention to these patterns and the programming underneath, something shifts. You don't always need force or willpower, just presence. Presence allows old programmings to relax, patterns to soften, and energy to flow where it is meant to go. Awareness might be just the beginning, but it is a very important and necessary first step. So as you leave this episode, remember, healing isn't about becoming something new. It's about noticing what's already there, what's already been keeping you alive, keeping you safe, and letting your energy, your body, and your awareness guide how you shift, how you change, how you become. So be gentle with yourself, be curious, and know that every small moment of noticing is a step toward becoming who you've always wanted to be. Thank you for listening today. If something you heard resonated or you think would be helpful for a friend, please send this to them. Let's support each other as we continue to step into becoming the best version of ourselves possible. Those of you who are members, there is a guided awareness exercise waiting for you in the app to help you begin noticing your programming and patterns. If you aren't a member, you can learn more by listening to the membership episode. I'll link in the show notes. That is all for today. Until next time, remember, know who you are, love who you've been, and be willing to do the work to become who you're meant to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist, or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal, and seek the support you need to thrive.