Welcome to Reaps of the Rise. These are tape, not deep dyes. Our curiosity help you read deeply, rise freely. And remember, we truly are. Before we begin, I just want to invite you to take a breath. Nothing fancy, just a breath that lets your shoulders drop a little. Because what we're talking about today is not about doing more. It's not about adding something else to your to-do list. It's about learning how to support yourself better. Self-care has become one of those terms that gets thrown around so much that it's almost lost its meaning. For some people, it just sounds indulgent. For others, it sounds like something you do after you've completely burned out, if you have the time, the money, or the energy. To add to the confusion, self-care looks different for everyone. And there is a lot of noise out there about what it quote unquote should look like, which is why, at its core, self-care is about awareness, self-awareness. It's about being aware enough to know when it's time to step back and take a break. It's about learning how to not judge yourself. And truly, it's about learning what kind of ongoing practices help you be the best version of yourself possible. And most of us weren't taught this. We weren't taught how to support our nervous systems, that that was even a thing, how to regulate our emotions, how to be aware of our energy levels in a consistent, useful way. So instead, we push because most of us, that's what we were taught. And then we crash and then we tell ourselves we need to get better at self-care. But the issue isn't discipline, it's understanding. Self-care is not about escaping your life, it's about building the capacity to live the life of your dreams. It's the ongoing practice of making sure that you have enough internal resources to meet your life, no matter what, not just on good days, but on hard ones too. So you can pause right there and just ask yourself, where did you learn what self-care is supposed to look like? How would you define self-care? What did your parents model for you in terms of self-care? I mean, most people think self-care is something you do when you're already on the verge of a breakdown or are past that point. You know, that you take a mental health day when you are completely depleted. But that's backwards. Self-care isn't about crisis management. It's about finding daily mechanisms for releasing stress and nurturing yourself before you hit the wall. And no, this does not mean a glass of wine the moment you get home. No judgment. But that's not really what we're going for either here. It might look like getting up once an hour at work to walk to the break room and back, just to stretch your legs and give your brain a moment to rest. Or taking 10 minutes of your lunch break every day to get outside and feel fresh air on your face. We need those pauses. We need those breaks. And, you know, when we actually take care of ourselves, there are real benefits. Productivity goes up. When we're well rested and not overextended, our minds are clearer and more focused. Inflammation in the body goes down. Many self-care practices activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system responsible for rest, repair, and immune function. Your self-awareness increases. You can't do something nice for yourself if you don't know what actually makes you feel good. Your self-esteem improves. Taking time for yourself is a way of sending love to yourself. It's saying, I care about my needs. I matter. And this is usually where your inner critic shows up. Maybe you hear a voice that says, that's selfish, or you don't deserve that, or you don't have time. That voice is your inner critic. It's what one of my mentors calls your itty bitty shitty committee. And choosing to treat yourself the way you would encourage someone you love to treat themselves is one powerful way to show your subconscious that you believe you matter. There's a reason why we hear the phrase you can't pour from an empty cup. If you are exhausted, overworked, and spent, how much energy do you really have to give to your kids, your partner, your work, or even yourself? We've all heard the oxygen mask on the airplane, you know, analogy. You do your own oxygen mask first, not because you're selfish, but because it's what enables you to help the people around you. The same applies here. If you worry that taking time for yourself will mean neglecting others, I invite you to try and experiment. For one month, and I've done this before, so it could be any month, but if you want to kind of plan an advance for March, go for it. Consciously practice self-care. And at the end of that month, ask your partner, your friends, your family, or your work if they felt neglected or that you have increased your love and caring and awareness and energy for them. More often than not, what you'll hear is that you were more present, more patient, more available, not less. A lot of people say the hardest part of self-care is finding the time. How often do you say to yourself, I don't have the time to exercise, or I don't have the time to read or to cook, I don't have time to see friends. But I would argue that the real issue isn't time. It's a lack of prioritizing your own needs. And if you do that, it doesn't mean you've stopped caring about other people. It means you've stopped abandoning yourself. Deciding that an hour at a yoga class is valid, not a waste of time, money, or energy. Deciding that it's okay to read for 30 minutes and let the laundry wait. You have to decide that you're worth the care you give everyone else. But knowing something intellectually doesn't mean we live it. Many people wait until they are completely depleted before they offer themselves care. And by that point, it's really hard. Even small things feel overwhelming. Is that you? Do you wait for everything in your life to basically fall apart before you slow down? Now it's important to say this: not everything that feels good is self-care. I love chocolate cake, but if I ate it every day, I would not actually be taking care of myself, right? There are a lot of ways we temporarily cover up how we're feeling with food, alcohol, constant distraction. So if you're ever unsure whether something is self-care or self-medication, just pause and ask yourself is this supportive of my mind, body, and soul long-term? If you're honest, you'll know the answer. Sometimes what we call self-care is actually just relief, relief from what we're going through, from what we're facing. It might look like zoning out, numbing, distracting yourself from how overwhelmed you are. And there's nothing wrong with relief. Let's be clear about that. I mean, we all need it sometimes. But relief is not the same as nourishment. Again, eating cake might feel good in the moment, but nourishment is actually what supports your body. And the same thing applies in always. You know, self-care isn't pushing through and rewarding yourself later. It's not ignoring your needs and calling it strength. It's not treating rest as something you have to earn. Self-care is about supporting your system before it breaks down. And I like to think about it across four basic domains. You don't need to be perfect at all of them. You just need to stop neglecting them entirely. So, you know, of course, we have physical self-care, and this is the obvious one, you know, like sleep, movement, food, breath. Don't have to go to extremes here, just consistency. Five minutes of, you know, movement every hour is incredibly impactful. If that feels like too much, do 10 minutes every morning. Wake up and just do 10 minutes. If that feels too much, just do two minutes. It's about consistency. Mental self-care. This includes pauses, you know, having boundaries, noticing how much information you can take in so that you don't get overstimulated. Your mind needs rest just as much as your body does. And if you're going through something particularly challenging, then having support while you do that is also really important. Same thing goes with emotional self-care. You know, this means awareness, and we'll talk more about this actually in the next episode. You know, letting yourself feel what you feel, having places, ways to express and process rather than carrying everything alone or blocking yourself from feeling entirely, because that's not good either. There's also relational self-care, which you could lump into mental and emotional, either one, both, if you wanted to. I'm just going to pull it out here to also recognize that connection is incredibly in point important. It is really easy to get too busy to spend time with people, people that matter. It's easy to put off making the phone call, to put off, you know, having that lunch or that dinner or that breakfast date. We all need to know that we matter, that we're connected to other people, that someone cares about us, that we care about others. So whether you want to put it into a category all on its own or lump it into mental or emotional self-care, do not neglect relationships as a form of self-care. Nurturing connection is a way to nurture yourself. And then, of course, there's spiritual self-care, which isn't about belief systems. It's about meaning, joy, connection, inspiration. It's about remembering who you are and why you're here. You know, self-care is not just one thing, it's the ongoing relationship you have with yourself. So notice which of these areas have you been most neglecting lately? Physical, mental, emotional, relational, or spiritual. For me, it's physical. Hands down, hands down. No matter how much I preach, how important the physical body is. Man, do I have a hard time making, you know, space in my schedule for exercise. Uh, but it's my Achilles heel. You know, I didn't realize it until I stopped teaching fitness. I thought I'd have no problem doing it for myself, but nope. Turns out the only reason why I exercised regularly for years was because I had to show up to teach class. But that's okay. We all have things we're working on. This is mine. And what I keep reminding myself, and you know, what I want to remind you, is that self-care doesn't have to look impressive. It doesn't have to be that I exercise for an hour five times a week. That's not what's necessary. Just moving my body for 10 minutes every morning would be sufficient to get this ball rolling. You know, some of the most supportive practices don't take a lot of time, they are simple. They're quiet. You know, ones that I'm consistent with, obviously meditation, but also things like, you know, the way I actually stop and enjoy my cup of coffee in the morning. I don't just gulp it down while I'm running around. I sit and I luxuriate in that coffee while I drink it. Used to be I would sit and read, um, which is a practice I've gotten out of the habit of recently, and I need to bring it back because I loved that, you know, and sometimes it would be something light, sometimes it was something educational. But what matters is that it was nourishing to me. You know, things that don't necessarily check a productivity box, but that help my system reset. You know, self-care often looks, I don't know, boring, easy, small, but that's what builds capacity. Listening to yourself isn't glamorous, but it's foundational. So what actually helps you feel more like yourself again? Not what you think should help, but what really does? Do you know? A lot of people don't. The reason I'm spending so much time reframing self-care is because when it's missing, overwhelm is inevitable. If you don't create space intentionally, your system will create it for you through exhaustion, irritation, shutdown, or illness. That doesn't mean you've failed. It means you've exceeded your capacity. And capacity can be grown, it can be supported. I mean, before we even talk about overwhelm or emotions, which we're going to in the next couple of weeks, we have to understand this foundation because so many people are trying to manage stress without addressing the fact that their systems are simply depleted. I don't want you to leave this episode with a long list of things to do, though I could give them to you. And actually, if you go way back to the beginning of the podcast, I have individual episodes for each of those kind of buckets of self-care. But instead, for today, what I want you to do is just ask what would support look like right now for you? Not perfection, not even transformation, just support. Maybe it's going to bed a little earlier. Maybe it's saying no to something unnecessary. Maybe it's letting yourself rest without justifying it. You don't need to fix yourself. You don't need to fix your whole life. You just need to support yourself in small, sustainable ways. And that starts by deciding that you matter enough to do so, and you do. In the next episode, we're going to talk about what happens when you haven't done this, when life gets too much, and how to work with that without turning against yourself. But for now, just notice what shifts if you offer yourself just a little bit of care. Thank you so much for listening. If someone came to mind as you heard this episode, please share it with them. That's how we grow this community of healing and rise together. If you want support applying this work in your life, that is exactly what we do inside of the Roots of the Rise membership with show notes, prompts, and guided meditations. You can check it out at www.risingwithsarah.com. Or you can click the link in the episode notes. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. And remember, know who you are. Love who you are. Be willing to do the work. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist, or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal, and seek the support you need to thrive.