Summer Sabbatical And Rerelease Plan

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Hello, everyone. Before we dive in, a quick note. As you may already know, Roots of the Rise is taking a summer sabbatical and will return in September with brand new episodes. Throughout the summer, I will be re-releasing some of the most impactful and requested episodes from the archive, the ones that sparked conversation, resonated deeply, and made a lasting difference for listeners. I have chosen this season intentionally. Sometimes growth isn't about consuming more information. Sometimes it's about revisiting what we've already learned and allowing it to sink in more deeply. As you listen, notice what stands out to you this time around. What lands differently? What feels especially relevant to where you are today. The first four re-releases are all about creating a very intentional life, slowing down, reconnecting with ourselves, and building a stronger sense of inner stability. We are starting with episode 30. Are you prioritizing your priorities? We are halfway through the year now. Many of us began January with goals, intentions, and plans. Some of those still matter, some don't. This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and recalibrate rather than judge yourself. I'm also going to include episode 38 with this re-release. It's when I answered a listener question inspired by the original conversation and uh explored the topic a little more deeply. It felt relevant to just put them together in this re-release. And for members, this episode was originally released before the membership existed. So you will find show notes, reflection prompts, and a whole worksheet about prioritizing your priorities waiting for you inside Patreon. Without further ado, let's revisit episodes 30 and 38.

The Hidden Pressure To Do It All

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Today I'm gonna share some thoughts from a conversation I recently had with one of my friends about keeping all the balls up in the air without letting of the important ones drop. So let's get into it. I recently had a wonderful conversation with one of my best friends. The one I only see once a month, but inevitably seeing her is a highlight because while we of course talk about, you know, the husbands, the kids, blah blah blah, what we tend to focus on is the big stuff, you know, the things we're currently really struggling with, or the recent joys that are carrying us through our days. So this time we talked a lot about balance and, you know, how hard it is to keep all the plates spinning, the balls juggling, the cards from falling, you know, however you want to think of it, you know, how hard it is to be good at everything and how absolutely impossible it is to be good at everything and to keep everything up in the air. But that's kind of the expectation, right? So I'm gonna speak from my own experience and from what I hear over and over again with my clients and my friends. You know, there is this expectation that I make sure the house stays immaculate, the meals are nutritious and hopefully edible, the laundry's done, you know, all the appointments are made for me, for the kid, the animals, my career stays afloat, the family birthdays are remembered, the fun is planned, the marriage stays healthy, you know. Oh, and let's not forget about personally staying in shape and sane and oh, friendships, like don't forget about those. There's a lot, right? There's a lot that we have to manage on a day-to-day basis. And let me be clear, the expectation that I'm talking about, no one's putting that on me. That's the expectation that I have of myself. And sure, we can get into the nuances of how society has led women to believe that they have to do all these things and, you know, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Fine. But you know what? If we are aware and conscious enough to recognize that yes, there are these societal influences, you know, at the end of the day, we also have to admit that we're the ones who buy into it. We're the ones who step in to that expectation and say, yes, I'm going to expect that of myself. You know, I'm going to step into believing that there is this self-imposed long list of responsibilities that I must do perfectly all the time. And that's where I was at when my son, you know, was born. And for the first two years of his life, it was just this incredible pressure to keep doing things at the same level in the same way that I had done them before. But the truth is that that's like absolutely impossible. It's impossible without kids, right? But then you add kids into the mix and it's even worse. It's impossible to do everything perfectly all the time. Even if all you're doing is focusing on one subset, like career. Put them all together and it's completely unrealistic. You can't have that many quote-unquote priorities. Like something will give. Brene

Glass Balls And The Priority List

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Brown used this analogy that I really like. She said, if you can imagine that all of your responsibilities and joys for that matter, are balls that you're juggling, you have to figure out what type of ball it is. Meaning, some are rubber, some are plastic, some are glass. Some balls you can drop and they bounce right back up. No big deal. Some balls you drop and they bounce, they don't break, but they also don't rebound quite as easily. And some are glass. The moment you drop them, they shatter. If we think about everything in our life this way, we can then start to prioritize a little more easily. If your marriage is rocky, if things aren't so great, if you're struggling to get back the romance or the trust or whatever it is, that's a glass ball. Your marriage needs to be a priority. But maybe your career is rock steady. You've been doing it for 20 years, you know what to expect, you know what's expected of you, that's a rubber ball. You can do that kind of on autopilot and not stress about it. Maybe a plastic ball is your relationship with certain friends. It needs a certain level of care, but has some resiliency. You know, the important thing is that we not only take an initial stock of which things are which, but that we also periodically check in to see how they're doing. Some relationships go from being rubber to glass solely due to inattention. We think the kids are doing fine, but have we actually checked in to ask and make sure? You know, maybe there's something going on we aren't aware of. What are the warning signs of something beginning to tank? So here's my recommendation for today. First, make a list of your top 10 priorities, quote unquote. Meaning, what are the 10 balls you feel like you are juggling right now on a daily basis and write them down? If you only have five, great. Don't like search for them. But I do want the list to be complete, which is why I said 10. All right, next, organize them. Actually prioritize them. What is most important to you? And rewrite the list in this order. You might get hung up, especially when it comes to, for instance, husband or wife and children. Which goes first? Which one do you prioritize first? Think about it. Which one do you want to prioritize first? This is an individual decision. People make different choices. I just want you to make one and not put them on the same line. Okay, next step. Next to each item, right if it's a glass, plastic, or rubber ball. The idea is to check in and see, okay, how resilient is this part of my life? Are things going to really be a problem if I drop this ball right now? So just have that awareness. Again, don't take too long. Don't like overanalyze, just whatever comes to you first. Put that down. Okay, and then finally, next to each item, write on a scale of one to ten how much time or energy you're actually spending on the item, with one being hardly at all, and ten being a lot of time. Now compare. When you look at the first thing on your list, your number one priority, check what kind of ball it is, and then see, are you putting in enough time for that type of ball? Generally speaking, your glass balls, you want to have somewhere between seven and ten energy, time, effort. The plastic ones are gonna be somewhere in the middle, you know, four to seven. And the rubber balls, probably one to three, something in those lower ranges. This isn't exact, this is not rocket science. Do what feels right for you. Okay, so let's do an example. So say your number one priority is your marriage. You've noted that it's a rubber ball, it's rock steady solid, and you put a number two effort next to it. Well, all of that's probably okay. It's super important to you, but it's also solid. You might not have to invest a lot of energy right now. Okay, but let's say that instead, all right, your number one priority is your marriage still, but let's say it's glass. Say that there's been an infidelity that you're trying to work through, but you note that you're only putting a level two effort in. Well, you've got a problem. If something is at a level 10 priority, it's extremely fragile, and you're only putting an effort two in, well, how is that gonna work? How is that gonna succeed? Are you really treating it like the priority you say it is? This exercise is about awareness. I personally find it to be really helpful because when I get overwhelmed, when all of that, you know, per recovering perfectionism begins to rear its head, when I start getting overwhelmed, when I feel like I'm just messing up all over the place and not doing a good job at anything, I look at my list and I realize, no, I'm putting a lot of time and energy into my son because he's my number one priority and he's rock solid, he's good, he's got as good a life as I can provide for him, but I'm gonna keep on putting that high level of effort in because he's young and he needs that kind of energy. And if my work is sliding because of it, if I'm not seeing as many clients or I don't get my newsletter out on time, I'm okay with it because it's lower down on the list. It's not as important to me as my kid or my marriage. It helps keep things in perspective. And friendships, well, those are ones that, you know, if I do a self-check and I realize, ugh, I haven't talked to that person, you know, in a long time, well, I can remedy that. I can send a text and say, hey, it's been too long, and I can reconnect with that person. That's why doing a check-in with the list is so important because it helps you keep your priorities top of mind and course correct when necessary.

How Often To Reassess Priorities

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Today I'm doing my first responding to questions episode. This week I had a question regarding priorities hit my inbox. So that is what I am going to talk about today. Let's get to it. I was so excited when I saw that I had my first question hit my inbox. This question was referencing episode 30, which was all about prioritizing your priorities. In that episode, I described an exercise you can do to look at what's important to you and make sure you are putting in the appropriate amount of effort. Listen to the episode if you want to hear that explained in full. But today I wanted to answer the question that came up for Monique, who wanted to know how often you should change out the priorities on your list. So this is a great question. Your first indication that you need to reassess is if you're unhappy. If you consistently wake up feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, like you're being pulled in too many directions, that you're failing at everything, or even just really, really badly in one department, well, that's a good indication that either something is wonky in your priority list, or that your priorities are still in order, but your effort isn't. Because that can often be the case. I don't foresee my actual priority list changing much in the near future. My top 10 are likely to pretty much always be my top 10. My marriage, my kid, my self-care, my work, family, friends, financial stability, spiritual development. I mean, those are probably always going to be my focus. Now, the order might change a bit depending on, you know, life variables, but likely what's going to go awry more often is not the actual list, but my effort or attention to each of these categories. You know, my happiness, sense of fulfillment, of joy, that's what's going to indicate that I need to look at this again. Now, if you're just trucking along and everything feels great, then maybe you make it a quarterly exercise. Just stay on top of it, just to be present, you know, present to the things you care about, and maybe preemptively head off any misalignment. If this is something that you don't really have a problem with, that you tend to feel like you are placing your attention where it should go and you know everything really feels good to you, then maybe you just make it an annual thing where you, you know, every January or on your birthday, pick, you know, whatever feels kind of most aligned for you. You sit down and you look at everything. As I

What To Include On Your List

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was thinking about this, I also thought it might be helpful for me to actually list out some of the topics that you might want to put on this list. I thought that might be a nice addition since we're talking about it anyway. So here we go. I categorized it generally speaking. So for instance, kind of in the personal category, you might have things listed like, you know, success, feeling valued, being confident, having a sense of purpose, self-compassion, inner growth and development, spiritual connection, health. You might have financial things on this list, things like income, uh, financial stability, future planning, like saving for retirement. If you are still on a part of life where you have a career, maybe feeling valued in your job or feeling like you're doing a good job, maybe stability or advancement is going to be part of your priority list. When it comes to relationships, you know, marriage is a big category. You might end up needing to break that down into something like communication, intimacy, fun, uh, emotional connection. Also, you can add in there, you know, for relationships, things like feeling that you belong, friends, family, children. Note about children. If you have children, if you have multiple children, I should say each one is their own category. I may only have the one, but I know plenty of people who have multiple and they all say the same thing. Each child needs a different level of attention, a different kind of attention. They all need different things. So we want to honor that and acknowledge that each child should be their own separate category because their needs are going to be different. That's a big list. I know it's not even comprehensive. I am certain I've missed some things. I mean, personal alone, you can break down into the individual elements of skelet, like we talked about way back in episodes, I don't know, it was at the beginning, like somewhere around 15 or so. You know, so there's a lot here. You need to figure out what's most important to you. This is just an awareness exercise, though. So, like, have some fun with it. Don't get too serious, and know that you can come back to it and reassess whenever you want. There's no set rule. Again, a big thanks to Monique for sending in that question.

Send Questions And Closing Reminder

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It's the first one I've gotten through the text me button in the episode description, and it was just so exciting to have it come in. Please, if you guys have questions or you want me to talk about any particular topic, let me know. I'm here for you. If you enjoyed this update, please like, share, or subscribe. Have a wonderful weekend, and remember, know who you are, love who you've been, and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist, or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal, and seek the support you need to thrive.