Roots of the Rise

Episode 2- The Hidden Meaning in Hard Times: How You are Meant For Happiness

Sarah Hope Season 1 Episode 2

Today I'm talking about a passage from Dawson Church's book Bliss Brain, a book I've recently been enjoying. The essence of the passage I share is that of looking for the deeper meaning of the difficult things that happen to us.  If we can come to do that, our whole lives shift.  I also talk a bit about confirmation bias and how it correlates to our happiness, and share the author's idea for cultivating a greater appreciation for ourselves and our lives. 


Check out Bliss Brain: The Neuroscience of Remodeling Your Brain for Resilience, Creativity, and Joy by Dawson Church

Episode 54 - Why Loving Who You've Been Can Change Everything

Questions or Comments? Message me!

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Roots of the Rise with me, sarah Hope. So this morning I want to talk about this book I'm reading, called Bliss Brain by Dawson Church, and I was kind of struck by this little section that I read this morning. So I'm going to read a little bit and then we can talk about it. So he says on page 28, if you're following along, because you were never created to be unhappy or dissatisfied, if you could see the order behind the material world that you experience, you would be amazed and delighted at how everything is arranged to please you, how there is a constant supply of good and beautiful things and experiences being offered to you, how seemingly, the whole universe is lining up to take care of you and give you everything you wish for. So I'm going to pause there, because what he's referencing is one of the essential tenets to acceptance, to our ability to accept anything and everything that happens in our lives, because one of the basic concepts that we have to grasp in order to be able to step into accepting anything, any situation that we come across in life, is trusting that it's happening for us, not to us. We have to get out of victimhood in order to be able to accept circumstances in our life. Now we will do a whole multitude of episodes on acceptance, so that's all I'm going to say about it right now, but I just wanted to highlight that that's one of the reasons why that particular paragraph is important, because it's talking about this ability to see that there are good things for us, even when it might feel like there aren't.

Speaker 1:

So he goes on to say how come we cannot see this? And that's what everybody asks, right? Okay, you say there's all good things and like life is for me. Well, I can't see that. Why can't I see that?

Speaker 1:

So what Dawson Church says is because you see other things. You look at the beauty of nature, but you see the destruction caused by a few of your fellow human beings. You look at the magnificence of a modern city and you see traffic, noise or pollution. You see the power of a large crowd of people and are aware only of the noise or disturbance. Sometimes you see your own shortcomings, far larger than everything else that is going on in your neighborhood, your country or your planet, far larger than everything else that is going on in your neighborhood, your country or your planet. Your problems have grown to such large proportions that they take over your view and cloud your sight, so you're no longer able to see what is really happening around you. When your problems appear larger than everything else, of course you start to feel inferior or bad about yourself. Your self value goes down out of all proportion and this, too, affects the way you view everything.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to pause a second time. And you know, say, part of what he's talking about here is confirmation bias. You know, think about yellow cars. Like, do you notice yellow cars? Maybe not, but if you think about buying a yellow car, you're going to start seeing them everywhere. You know, or a particular make and model, whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

And this is just the way our brain works. Where attention goes, energy flows. So if you are focused on seeing all the ways humans have messed up our planet, then you're going to see all the ways we've messed up this planet. If you look for all the ways that technology has ruined society, then that's what you're going to see and you won't see the ways in which it has brought us together. And this is just the way our brain works. So the more you focus on the negative in your life, the more you're going to see the negative in your life. That's just kind of the way it goes, right?

Speaker 1:

Okay, so he goes on with a prescription of what to do. Okay, so he says so what can you do? No one wants to feel their problems are so large in comparison with everything else. No one wants to be negative or feel bad about themselves. But once you are in this situation, it's difficult to know how to get out of it.

Speaker 1:

It is simple baby steps that work the best. Find one thing each day to value about yourself and write it down. Make sure it's a different thing each day. Read the list every single day, all the way through. Do this every day without fail, always finding something different to value about yourself and always reading to yourself the whole list. It may feel strange or uncomfortable at first, but be persistent. It's easy and it takes very little time. It costs you nothing and gradually, day by day, you will discover the way you value yourself, slowly increasing and your sense of self worth growing. As this continues, it will start to impact the decisions you make and eventually you will come to really feel good about yourself. Can you imagine doing this every day for just one year and ending up with 365 different things about yourself that you value, you can't help changing and you can't help becoming wealthier as a result.

Speaker 1:

So I really loved all of that. I really appreciated that kind of a analysis of why we can get kind of so down on ourselves and down on our lives and our circumstances. And then also the prescription that's a new one for me, I haven't heard it before the listing something you value about yourself on a daily basis. And you know you can take that as far or as short as you want, right, you can just be laying in bed and think it to yourself, but if you really want to internalize it, writing it down is really the best thing you can do. There is something that happens in our brains that when we actually physically handwrite something, it gets wired differently. So there really is power in taking time to just write it down.

Speaker 1:

And you know, taking a page from Atomic Habits, which is another book I'm sure I'll reference at some point in the future you know you can kind of habit stack, in the sense that if you already have, for instance, a gratitude practice where you write down three things you're grateful for, you could tack this on as just adding on. Oh, and I value X about myself. So play with that today. Think about the ways in which you value yourself and the ways in which you get down on yourself right. Think about the ways, like the easy things that come immediately to mind how many can you name right now before you hit a block? And you know if you can only name three before you start hitting a block? Well, this would probably be a really good exercise for you to play with. And you don't have to commit to a year, right, commit to a month. That's not that bad. We want to be successful when we set goals right, and so play around with it, see what might feel good for you. And I'd be really curious to hear kind of what happens as you contemplate it today or as you start implementing this practice. So please feel free to email me at rootsoftherise at gmailcom. I'd love to hear.

Speaker 1:

I hope you enjoyed today's talk. Again. The book I was referencing was Bliss Brain by Dawson Church. I hope you play with the ideas and I'll be back tomorrow with something new. Until then, know who you are, love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal and seek the support you need to thrive.

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