Speaker 1 0:12

Welcome to Roots of the Rise with me , sarah Holt . When we feel afraid or ungrounded , very often we reach for control . It gives us the illusion of stability . But is it real ? Is this need for control helpful ? How often have you rehearsed a difficult conversation a million times in your head before actually having it and then had it turn out completely different than anything you had rehearsed ? How many times have you imagined the worst case scenario and then meticulously planned to avoid it , only to have it happen anyway in a completely different way than you had imagined ? This week we're talking about our programming around safety and security , also known as the orientation of the root chakra .

Speaker 1 1:03

One of the ways we often try to manage feeling insecure or afraid is through control . We grip tightly to everything we can because deep down , we don't trust that it's all going to be okay . Sometimes this can be a third chakra issue . Maybe you had little to no autonomy growing up and now you fiercely protect your independence , but often it's about safety . Control becomes our coping mechanism . Take hoarding , for example . It's a common sign of a root chakra imbalance . There's an inability to let go because what if you need it later ? What if you can't afford to replace it . It's a fear-driven attempt to manage the unknown . And , yes , there are healthy levels of preparedness . But then there's the spiral . It takes tremendous courage to be human , to look at our fears honestly , especially now when uncertainty and unrest seem to be everywhere .

Scarcity Brain

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I read Scarcity Brain a little while ago , highly recommend , by the way . I'll link it below and a couple tidbits from that seem pertinent for today . The author , michael Easter , shared a study from University of Texas researchers showing that we default to collecting more because we subconsciously associate more stuff with survival . He also spent some time with this woman who basically only owned gear , not stuff . She kind of took minimalist to the next level and only had what she absolutely needed . The idea of this is fascinating and it's on the rise . I mean , so many people are living out of converted school buses and opting for tiny houses , downsizing , but still creature comforts , like they call to us , sometimes because we lacked them growing up , sometimes for aesthetics , sometimes for status , sometimes just because we really like comfy sheets and lots of pillows instead of a bedroll . What's so interesting is that in advertising , scarcity cues like limited availability outperform popularity cues . Scarcity cues like limited availability , outperform popularity cues , bestseller status . Why ? Because scarcity triggers value . We use material things to feel like we belong . Brand tribalism is not new . We've been stamping logos on items for over 5,000 years . And when disaster hits , we become squirrels . Stay with me here . Squirrels , when resources are abundant , are social and share freely , but when scarcity hits , they hoard , they fight , they protect their stash fiercely Sound familiar .

Speaker 1 3:37

When we feel unsafe , we overbuy . I don't think any of us who lived through it will ever forget the toilet paper shortage of 2020 . Or we do the opposite we purge . I mean , one of the telltale signs that either myself or my husband is feeling super stressed and overwhelmed is that we go on a crazy cleaning purging spree . Nothing is safe , closets get mercilessly gone through , the truck gets full of donations and we are not alone . Remember all the decluttering that happened during the pandemic . People were getting rid of stuff like it was their job . Donations to the Salvation Army doubled .

Speaker 1 4:14

Both

Control: Helpful or Harmful?

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over-accumulation and minimalism can stem from the same root the desire to make everything just right , to regain control . Can't control a pandemic . You can make sure you never run out of toilet paper and your favorite chips . Can't predict your partner's reaction . You can rehearse the conversation a hundred times . Can't stabilize the economy . You can strategize your investments , get rid of debt and make sure you're saving money .

Speaker 1 4:42

Control isn't inherently bad . It can be wise . But it's worth asking is your desire for control helping you or hurting you ? Are you holding on to structure at the cost of fun ? Is your obsession with figuring it out stopping you from taking action ? Do you avoid experiences because you won't have full control Flying in a plane ? Anyone ?

Speaker 1 5:07

When you ask someone why they don't want to , what do you usually hear ? Because they don't feel in control . Well , I hate to break it to you , but control is just an illusion . You might feel like you're more in control when you're driving , but statistics say you're far more likely to die driving than if you fly . You might feel like you're thoughtfully preparing when you rehearse that say you're far more likely to die driving than if you fly . You might feel like you're thoughtfully preparing when you rehearse that conversation you're worried about over and over again . But science tells us that your brain doesn't know the difference between actually having the conversation and planning it out . And if that talk is stressing you out , then all you're doing is sending yourself into a dysregulated state over and over and over again .

Speaker 1 5:46

I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare or plan . There's a time for it , but too much becomes a cage , heavy , stifling , hurtful .

The Antidote to Fear

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So what's the antidote ? The answer to fear is to integrate the invincibility of the heart into your conscious awareness . Not just to believe , but to know on a deep cellular level that you are safe , you are loved , you are supported , connected and worthy . That kind of knowing takes time , it takes practice , and it's not just about figuring out safety or healing the root chakra . It runs through all of our programming , all of our programming connected to emotions , our sense of self-worth , our ability to connect to others , all of it . So if you're not there yet , if you don't have this embodied knowledge yet , then that's okay . You're a work in progress , like all of us are . So this is a time to develop that trust , to develop that faith , and in the meantime , we can work with practices that help build that sense of grounded trust .

Speaker 1 6:57

Which brings me to the exercise I'm going to share with you now . What I'm going to walk you through is based on a defining your fears exercise from a Ted Ferris TED Talk that's called why you Should Define your Fears Instead of your Goals . I will link it below . It's awesome . Yesterday we talked about the ability to work with the fear , to locate it , give gratitude to it , understand it , even love it . But maybe you're not there yet and maybe you've done all that , but you still kind of feel like you're battling

Defining Fears Exercise

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it .

Speaker 1 7:30

Depending on the fear , this following practical exercise might be of use . It was originally geared towards doing something that scared you , something like , I don't know , going abroad and living abroad for a year , or starting a new business , something like that , but I've modified it slightly to make it work for either doing something that you're scared of or simply working through trying to more deeply understand a situation that scares you . Could be something you identify as being fear-based , like worries about what's happening in the economy right now , or like a natural disaster situation . Or maybe you're having a disagreement with your spouse about how to handle money and are trying to get a grip on why you feel the way you do . What is it that's making you nervous and propelling you to want to handle finances a certain way ? All right , so let's get into it .

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Step one take a sheet of paper and create three columns . What you're going to do is label them , define , prevent and repair . So define . In that column you're going to list all the worst things you can imagine happening in the situation . Be thorough . You want 10 to 20 . In that second column you're going to talk about what you can do to prevent , to decrease the likelihood of each of these possibilities .

Speaker 1 8:57

Keep in mind the answer might be nothing . I mean , there isn't much that you can do in certain situations . But you do want to really look to see . Okay , what can I do ? The third column is repair . So if the worst happens and that possibility comes to fruition , how would you fix it ?

Speaker 1 9:18

The thing that's coming up for me right now is I'm thinking about when I had a house fire and I lost so much , so much . So say that's the fear that you're working with that you're going to have a house fire and lose everything . Well , can you prevent the fire ? Maybe , maybe not . I mean you can certainly have an electrician come and check out all the wiring . I required that when we moved into our new house because that was really the only way I felt safe . But even doing that , there are always going to be extenuating circumstances and that's part of what this exercise helps you do .

Speaker 1 9:57

Okay , list out what are the things that you can prevent , what are the things that you can't , if it you know the worst happens . Well , what can you do to mitigate the loss ? I mean the big heartbreak from the fire , other than losing my dogs , which was a devastating blow ? Um , I still . I still miss them , even though I have , you know , my new dog , but anyway , um , um , the thing that was so upsetting was that I lost all of these sentimental items that meant so much to me , that were irreplaceable things of my mom's that I can never get back . And the idea of going through that again , of losing even more well , that's terrifying , that's very scary . I mean , I gain so much joy sitting here at my desk looking at the wall in front of me that has all of these pictures of the people that matter to me , that has artwork that I've collected over the years that I find inspiring . Some of this is irreplaceable and it makes me sad even just now thinking about it . And so what can I do to prevent that ? Well , I might not be able to prevent the loss of it , right , you might not be able to stop the fire , you might not be able to have time to get everything out the door , but what can I do ? Well , I can make sure I have digital backups of all of the pictures . I've already taken pictures of my son's artwork that I have up on the wall , so at least I'd have a picture of it . Is that ideal ? No , but it's something . It's something to mitigate the pain of the loss , so that's just kind of something to keep in mind when you do that part of the exercise .

Speaker 1 11:40

Okay , so moving on to the second step . So you've got the sheet of paper . You've got three columns define , prevent , repair . You've listed out 10 to 20 things and you've worked through them On a second sheet of paper . You want to spend a solid 10 to 15 minutes stream of consciousness writing about either one the benefits of an attempt at doing the thing that scares you . So maybe you hate flying , that's your fear , but you would be able to finally see Paris and other parts of Europe , which you've always wanted to . Or you might be able to see family that you haven't seen in a long time if you could just get yourself on a flight . So that's that . Or you could write out what the benefits might be if this happens and this one might be tough . This happens and this one might be tough . Say , you're afraid that you are going to lose your job . Super scary for sure , but what silver lining might there be ? Stream of consciousness , write about that .

Speaker 1 12:39

I always say about the fire I do not recommend this methodology for purging your belongings , but I will say that one of the silver linings is that I was able to get rid of a lot of stuff . The house didn't burn down but there was a ton of smoke damage , and so I mean , this is a silly example , but I had a whole stack of scrapbooking supplies that I had been carting around with me for like 15 years . I kept on saying , oh , I'm going to get into scrapbooking . You know , I had all the stickers and the different types of paper and all the things , and I kept on saying I was going to do it , even though it did not bring me any joy to think about doing it . But I kept on , you know , keeping it just in case . Well , the fire took care of that . That box was gone . All of that stuff was ruined . You can't get smoke residue out of paper . So that was gone and look , not the best way to go about it , but I can appreciate that it helped me get rid of a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't need to be holding on to .

Speaker 1 13:47

I suppose I should pause here and make sure you know what stream of consciousness writing is . I talk about it a little bit in the journal writing episode . I'll link that below in case you're interested . But the gist of stream of consciousness writing is that basically you just don't stop writing . So you set a timer and whatever comes to mind you just write it out . Just keep writing . If you get stuck , repeat the last three or four words you wrote over and over and over again and eventually it'll kind of jog an action or of continuing to allow this fear to dominate your thinking .

Speaker 1 14:35

What do you risk if you avoid this action or decision ? What might you be missing out on ? What is the cost to your health or relationships that you are continuously stressing about politics , for instance ? What is the cost of being so OCD about your house staying perfectly clean ? Are you missing out on time with your family ? Do your kids never want to play at home because of how stressed they are about making a mess ? Spend a solid 10 to 15 minutes stream of consciousness writing about this .

Speaker 1 15:04

This exercise is about learning how to control the things you can and letting go of what you can't . It's about giving you something very tangible , very clear cut to help you maybe see things in a different light . Play with this , see what comes up for you . Don't take it too seriously , Just get curious .

Send in your questions!

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We are midweek , so if you have any first chakra , root chakra questions or any questions about what we've covered so far , please shoot me an email at rootsoftherise at gmailcom , or if you're listening on spotify , you can click the text me button . I love questions , so please don't hesitate to send them in . I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and remember , know who you are , love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be .