Introducing Illusions We Create Ourselves

Speaker 1 0:13

Welcome back to Roots of the Rise with me , sarah Hope . Today we're diving into the topic of illusion , especially the kind we create ourselves . How often do you catch yourself thinking this isn't how it's supposed to be ? That simple thought can reveal a deeper pattern the way our belief systems , our own BS can keep us stuck and spinning . So why do we stay trapped in these loops ? What are the three core reasons we keep ourselves stuck and , more importantly , what can we do to break free ? Stuck and , more importantly , what can we do to break free ?

Speaker 1 0:46

If we're going to talk about illusion , we have to start by admitting this . We like to think we know the truth , but more often than not , what we actually know is just what we think is going on or how we think things are supposed to be . Just think of how often you've said something along these lines to yourself this isn't how it's supposed to be . I shouldn't be feeling this . That shouldn't have happened . Examples might be things like I should be 30 pounds lighter , I'm not supposed to lose my job , my relationship should look like this .

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Not that these aren't typically just passing thoughts . They're deeply held , often rigid expectations , and when those expectations aren't met , what usually follows ? Suffering . You want your life to look a certain way . You want some things to happen and others definitely not to . That's human , that's normal . The real problem , though , is when we start building our entire reality around those expectations .

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As we talked about on Monday , if your baseline worldview is negative , or if you carry a harsh perspective toward yourself , your relationships or life in general , then you are likely reinforcing the very patterns you're trying to escape . That's where confirmation bias comes in . Your mind starts looking for evidence to prove those beliefs right . It becomes a self-fulfilling cycle , one where illusion shapes reality and suffering , lack of acceptance , keeps us stuck .

Confirmation Bias and Self-Fulfilling Cycles

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Confirmation bias is the tendency we have to interpret new information as evidence that supports our existing beliefs , whether or not those beliefs are true . If you believe someone doesn't like you , even the way they look at you can be interpreted as proof . If you believe you're failing at life , even your small wins will somehow seem like accidents or flukes . If you think your body is betraying you , even a normal ache can be twisted into a sign of illness . And once that pattern sets in , we stop asking better questions , we stop fact-checking our thoughts , we stop investigating .

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So let's go back to those earlier examples . I should be thinner . You know this fails to appreciate the way the body is now . I mean it is still functioning . It might not look the way you want it to look , but it is still getting you from point A to point B . And it also fails to investigate the reasons why losing weight might be a problem , even if it's never been an issue before . Like what's going on in your body right now Are there hormonal shifts , stress , illness ? You can get stuck in a loop of just thinking I should be thinner or whatever it is , and stop kind of doing the work to figure out . Well , why aren't you ?

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Second example I'm not supposed to lose my job . This fails to recognize the opportunity of new beginnings or investigate , maybe , what could you have been doing better at the job ? Did you actually deserve to get fired ? I mean , where did you go wrong ? Was this really the right role for you ? What might you have missed or outgrown ? And where's the opportunity here ? Maybe , maybe there's something better for you on the other side of this loss . And then the last one my relationship should be different . This makes you criticize all the ways it's falling short of that image you have in your head of the perfect relationship , measuring everything against an internal ideal that you have and therefore it's likely that you fail to investigate if there might be some sort of deeper learning here for you . What if this is an invitation for you to heal some sort of dysfunctional relationship programming that you've had for a really long time ? Maybe this is your opportunity to be the change .

Speaker 1 4:43

Let's talk about bigger illusions , not just the kind that make us misread a text or misjudge someone's tone , but the ones that live underneath our lives , the ones rooted in the assumptions we've made about how life

How We Inherit Our Limiting Beliefs

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is . Quote unquote , supposed to be so much of what we believe about love , about relationships , about success , our own worth , leave . About love , about relationships , about success , our own worth . It isn't original , it didn't come from us . It was modeled for us , we inherited it or we absorbed it , often even before we had words .

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Maybe you grew up watching your parents stay in a miserable marriage . The love , maybe even the like , was long gone , but they stayed , maybe for religious reasons , maybe to avoid the shame of divorce . The message you received was clear you stay , no matter how unhappy you are . So you get married and maybe you're deeply unhappy , maybe it's even abusive , but something inside you whispers this is just how it is . You're supposed to stay no matter what . Or maybe your parents were so obsessed with appearing perfect they locked out the world rather than risk the truth leaking out . That was my parents . Their investment in the image of a perfect marriage , perfect family , was so strong that they isolated themselves completely . They chose illusion over connection over vulnerability . These aren't just stories . These become scripts we unknowingly follow , and often we don't even realize we're in the grip of them , in the grip of the illusion , because it feels so much like truth to us . Here's another example .

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In one of her chakra books , anadeya Judith tells the story of a young woman whose father abandoned her as a child . He , you know , left , came back , left , came back and then finally left for good . Is it really any surprise that the daughter then adopted this deep fear of being abandoned ? Even the slightest conflict in any of her relationships would send her into a spiral . You know , she became obsessed with the idea that her boyfriend was going to leave . No matter how often he reassured her , the fear just wouldn't go , because illusion is louder than logic almost always and Judith in the book explains that you know , illusion tends to express itself in two ways either obsession or delusion .

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Obsession is when our energy gets stuck right . We loop around a singular issue over and over and over again . Delusion is when we build an entire inner world , like in an elaborate , distorted belief system , around one core assumption . And the more we invest in those stories either way , the harder it is for us to question them , even when they hurt us , even when they don't serve us , even when we get new information that might be telling us something different . Because

Illusion Protects us from Uncertainty

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here's the first , deeper truth illusion protects us from uncertainty . It might not feel good , but at least it feels familiar , and the brain loves familiarity . I mean , our entire system just loves homeostasis .

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Neuroscience research tells us that the brain is designed to seek patterns , not necessarily truth . It wants to resolve ambiguity as quickly as it can . And that's where confirmation bias comes in . It filters our reality to match the beliefs we already hold . So if you believe people always leave , you'll interpret every delay or disagreement as proof that it's happening again , that it's about to happen . If you believe life is hard and nothing ever works out , your brain will selectively focus on every single hardship and overlook every moment of ease or grace .

Identity Entanglement

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And then you know , we also begin to get entangled in our belief systems , we begin to adopt them as our identity , which is the second , deeper truth . You know , sometimes we cling to a painful belief because we've built our entire identity around it . If I'm not the person stuck in this relationship , who am I ? If I'm not the responsible one who holds the family together , even at my own expense , who am I ? If I'm not the responsible one who holds the family together , even at my own expense , who am I ? You know , letting go of illusion doesn't mean seeing more clearly . It often means grieving the version of yourself that was built to survive it .

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You know , the

Unconscious Loyalty

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third deep layer here is this unconscious loyalty to our belief systems . Many of us stay stuck in illusions because it feels somehow like a betrayal to let them go . If your mother stayed in a miserable marriage , who are you to leave yours ? If your family struggled and suffered , thriving might feel like you're leaving them behind . So you unconsciously sabotage your growth , your relationships , your dreams , not because you don't want them , but because something inside you is still loyal to that past . And all of this is happening beneath the surface , stuck in your unconscious . As Carl Jung said , until you make the unconscious conscious , it will direct your life and you will call it fate . This is how you end up living from beliefs like life sucks and then you die . People can't be trusted . It's always going to be this hard Things will only get worse .

Speaker 1 10:16

These beliefs . They don't serve us , but they are self-reinforcing . Where attention goes , energy flows . Just another one of those . These beliefs , the more evidence we gather to prove them through confirmation bias , we can even self-sabotage to create the very thing we fear .

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I've used this example before . The woman who is afraid of her husband cheating on her , who then dogs his every move , demands to know where he is all the time , who he's with what he's doing , to the point where she drives him absolutely crazy . She smothers him and creates such a toxic and emotionally draining environment he finally just goes out and has the affair because why not ? If he's going to be punished for it anyway , he may as well go ahead . I don't mean that literally . Obviously , infidelity is not okay , but this is an entirely plausible scenario where this woman has created the very thing she feared .

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The more we believe something to be true , the more it becomes our reality , the more we believe our own BS , our own belief systems . So how do we break free . We need to combat illusion with

Breaking Free With Vision, Not Fantasy

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vision . Vision is different from fantasy . Fantasy is about escaping reality . Vision is about transforming it . Vision gives us direction , a purpose , a way forward . It gives us clarity , what is true and if we don't like what we see , it gives us the opportunity to reshape the future , to take actionable steps , to create the future we want , not what we feel doomed to experience .

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Vision says I see what I want . Want and it might not be true yet , but it could be . That little word yet is so powerful . I'm not at the weight I want to be , yet I haven't found the job that lights me up . Yet my relationship doesn't reflect the love I long for yet , yet holds the door open . It invites possibility . It says I'm still becoming . But then you have to follow it up with action .

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You know , illusion . Part of illusion is that it keeps us stuck . It tells us nothing can change . This is just how it is . Old dogs can't learn new tricks . You know we are stuck in the way we've always been . But vision , vision empowers us . It reminds us that we can't always change the wind , but we can adjust the sails . Thank you , jimmy Dean . I believe , because illusion binds energy , but vision consciously directs it . So let's end with this .

Speaker 1 12:49

The illusion isn't about anything out there . It's about what is within you . It lives in the stories . We repeat the roles we play , the beliefs we forgot to question . But when we pause , when we get curious , shout out to episode six , which I'll link in the show notes . When we start asking better questions , we reclaim our power , we come back to center and we begin the incredible work of creating a reality that's rooted in truth and who we truly are , in a way that is inspired by the vision we have for our lives .

Powerful Questions to Unravel Your Illusions

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So today I've got some questions for you . You can just sit and listen as you drive , go home journal about these . Pick the ones that resonate with you . Pick the one that makes you uncomfortable . That's usually a good indication that it's something you might want to dive into and see what comes up .

Speaker 1 13:45

Okay , here are the questions . What might I be getting wrong ? What belief am I clinging to that's shaping my entire reality ? Where am I mistaking bias for truth ? What assumptions did I inherit from my family , culture or religion that I've never questioned ? What painful belief or identity am I holding to because it feels familiar or safe ? Is there something I keep trying to prove true rather than see clearly . And who might I be if I no longer believed this ?

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If you want a great book about asking questions to see what's true , check out Byron Cady's . It's called Loving what Is Four Questions that Can Change your Life . I'll link it in the show notes , or you can just wait for some day in the future when I'm sure I'll go over this book in greater detail . It's a good one , but let these questions sit with you . Don't rush to answer . Sometimes just the asking starts to unravel the illusion . And just a teaser one of next week's episodes is going to be all about my favorite questions to ask whenever I feel stuck , confused or trapped , no matter what the situation . I have a certain group of questions that I repeatedly come back to again and again whenever I feel like I really need to get honest with myself and see with new eyes . So stay tuned for that . It's going to be a good one .

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That is all for today , my friends . Thank you for joining me . If this episode stirred something in you , give yourself a moment to pause , breathe and just notice what's moving . If you want to share what came up , feel free to click the message me button if you're listening on Spotify , or email me at rootsoftherise at gmailcom . If you found value in today's conversation , I'd love it if you shared it with a friend or left a review . It helps us work , reach others who might need it . Until next time , remember , know who you are , love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be . Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only . I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician , therapist or any other qualified provider meant to replace the guidance of a physician , therapist or any other qualified provider . That said , I hope it inspires you to grow , heal and seek the support you need to thrive .