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Have you ever dreamed of walking away from it all, leaving work, bills, responsibilities behind, to focus entirely on your spiritual growth? Maybe join a monastery? Think that that's the fastest path to enlightenment. If you have ever felt that pull, you are not alone. But here's the catch Leaving your everyday life behind is not the shortcut. You are not alone, but here's the catch Leaving your everyday life behind is not the shortcut you think it is. In today's episode we explore why true spiritual growth happens not by escaping the daily grind, but by learning to thrive in the middle of it. Welcome back to Roots of the Rise with me, sarah Hope.

Speaker 1: 0:46

I don't know about you, but I have often thought about how great it would be to just be a monk, to have my entire day laid out with simple, meaningful rhythms, spells to tell me when to wake up, meditate, pray, eat, sleep, no bills to pay, no appointments to keep. Just a life of structure and focus and inner growth and development. Before I had my son, who I would never trade for anything now, I used to daydream about this whole escaping reality and just being a monk. Often and I know I'm not alone I hear this from my clients all the time how they wish they could just hit pause on normal life and escape for a month to some tropical location where they could listen to spiritual teachers and meditate and do yoga all day. How much they would be able to accomplish if they could just be uninterrupted for a period of time. I get it. I even had visions of it. I talked about that last episode, how I had this intuitive vision of kind of like a middle ground by working at Kripalu where I could be surrounded by yoga, spirituality, delicious food that I didn't have to cook, and at the time it felt like this idyllic solution. But looking back I'm really glad I didn't pursue it, because now I see that it actually might have slowed me down. And that's what I want to talk about today the difference between the monk's path and the householder's path, and why stepping away from like quote unquote real life isn't necessarily the perfect spiritual shortcut we might imagine, the perfect spiritual shortcut we might imagine.

Speaker 1: 2:24

So let's start with the monk's path. Of course every tradition has its nuances, but generally speaking, the monastic life is built on renunciation and self-denial. You know, a monk steps away from family and society, gives up possessions, surrenders personal choice to the structure of their order, whatever that is, you know, they don't decide anymore when to eat, or when to wake up or sleep, or even what work they'll do. Through discipline and aesthetic practice, they gradually strip away attachment to the small self, the ego, until nothing personal remains. That's when awakening becomes possible, when they realize that they're not separate at all, but a wave within the vast ocean of existence. For householders, meaning those of us who don't take monastic vows, that realization unfolds differently. We might experience glimpses of it here and there, and over time, as we mature, as we elevate our vibration, those glimpses can deepen into a steadier state of non-attachment.

Speaker 1: 3:29

But here's the thing Most of us simply can't just become monks. We have families, careers, responsibilities and yes, bills. You know, even if part of us longs to walk away from all of that, very few of us are willing to give up the joys that come with it as well the family, the freedom, vacations, community, you know, being able to pursue whatever work you want to. Still, if you are someone who has faced hardship, trauma, burnout, or you know someone who is deeply devoted to spiritual growth, the monk's life can sound incredibly tempting. It feels simpler, it feels like it would be easier to grow without distractions. You can imagine these days filled with meditation and contemplation and it seems like surely that would accelerate your awakening. But here is the truth.

Speaker 1: 4:25

With the monk's path there's very little friction. Sure, at first there's an adjustment, just like when you start lifting weights. Right In the beginning it's hard, but eventually your body adapts and that same weight no longer challenges you. You get stronger, but only within that one range. You kind of increase your endurance, but not necessarily your ability to lift more. I mean, this is a loose, you know, stay with me, don't take it too literally. But broadly speaking, that's what the monastic path can be like. You know, you train deeply within a certain set of circumstances, in a specific discipline, but you're not always pushed into new levels of growth. You know, as a monk, you don't have the difficult boss who triggers your anger. You don't have the child who stirs up your old wounds and forces you to learn emotional regulation. You don't have the partner who forgets to take out the trash for the 10th time even though you've asked them a hundred. The monk's life places you in a community where everyone is on the same page, equally devoted to transcendence, simplicity, letting go of attachment, community in the sense of communal, loving kindness. Hopefully, that's the kind of monk life that you choose.

Speaker 1: 5:38

The householder path, though, is different. I mean, most of us are surrounded by people who aren't on the same journey. It can feel incredibly isolating, which is why community is so important for spiritual growth in everyday life. It's one of the reasons I love heart-based meditation. I mean, my mentor offers online meetings twice a month. He offers monthly retreats so that people can connect with others who are on the same path, and that shared support makes the loneliness, you know, not so intense. You know you're not alone. There are others who are doing the deep work and trying to become the best version of themselves, which we don't always see, you know, at the gas station or driving down the road or in the grocery store. The other big difference is this the monk's path is primarily about renunciation, while the householder's path is about fulfillment. Our path is about learning to find peace, not by escaping chaos, but by staying centered in the middle of it, to remain calm, grounded and steady when life feels messy and unpredictable. And when we can do that, when we find non-attachment right in the middle of ordinary life, well then we basically arrive at the very same level of transcendence. I would argue even higher, because it is harder to do something when you are meeting resistance, when you've got pushback. So if the householder path is about learning to be fulfilled in the midst of life's chaos, what does that actually look like in practice?

Speaker 1: 7:10

All right, consider this analogy. I think it's often attributed to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. So imagine this there's a man walking down the street when a pickpocket steals his wallet. What happens next depends entirely on the inner state of the man. If the man is poor and that wallet holds the last of his money, the loss is devastating. It means no food, no shelter, suffering. His entire sense of well-being is tied to that event, so his attachment and the stress that follows is overwhelming.

Speaker 1: 7:42

Now imagine the same situation, but this time the man is a billionaire. A wallet is stolen, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't deny it happened, he doesn't need to pretend it doesn't affect him. It simply doesn't phase him because he has so much in reserve. He replaces his cards, withdraws more cash, just goes on without his day. You know, the difference isn't willpower, it's fullness. He's so resourced that the loss doesn't disturb his inner state. This is what non-attachment looks like when it arises from fullness, when we are inwardly abundant, full of joy, fulfillment and bliss, we are naturally less shaken by external circumstances. This is the essence of the householder path not suppression but expansion, a path of the heart, of fulfillment, of discovering a joy so complete that desires are not come clung to, but naturally integrated, naturally present.

Speaker 1: 8:41

There's a meme or a reel or something that was going on a quote. I remember where I saw it, but somebody was saying that you know what happens when you bump into someone who's carrying a mug. Well, that depends entirely on what is in the mug, whether they spill tea or coffee, right, it depends on what you hold within yourself that spills out. Now, if you've studied yoga philosophy, you might be thinking that this sounds wrong because so many translations emphasized suppression of desire as the way to non-attachment. But take this as a thought experiment. Which feels more true to you? Which is the greater challenge? Stepping away from society entirely or learning how to be fulfilled and at peace right in the middle of it? As the saying goes, smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.

Speaker 1: 9:32

And even in the Vedic tradition this perspective is affirmed. In the Bhagavad Gita, krishna tells Arjuna both renunciation and the yoga of action lead to the supreme good, but of the two the yoga of action is superior. In other words, living fully engaged in the world can be the faster and deeper path to awakening. What's happening here is a common misunderstanding mistaking the ends for the means. We see the qualities of an enlightened person peace, non-attachment, endless compassion, a deep sense of unity. Think, if I act peaceful, unattached and compassionate I'll make progress. But here's the truth. The enlightened individual is already there. Their behavior is the result of their state, not the cause.

Speaker 1: 10:21

Let me pause and clarify what I mean by enlightened, because I've been saying that term but I don't think I've defined it. I'm talking about a way of being that combines clarity, compassion and and awareness. So spiritually it's awakening beyond the ego and recognizing our deeper connection to all of life, all that is. Psychologically it's freeing ourselves from fear, conditioning and old patterns so we can live with wisdom and balance. And in everyday life it simply looks like moving through the world with kindness, perspective, acceptance, presence. An enlightened person does this all effortlessly.

Speaker 1: 10:59

If something stressful or difficult happens, they don't get trapped by it. They return to the peace they've cultivated within themselves. They stay fully present without attachment, without triggers from the past and without getting stuck. Stress dissolves, suffering disappears. They exist in the present moment, and that's it. That's the power of now, like Eckhart Tolle says.

Speaker 1: 11:21

For their students, though, it's different. A mentor might tell a student to stay in the moment right, the power of now. But for someone who hasn't reached that state yet it often feels like staying in the suffering. This is the same misfire as with non-attachment. The enlightened are naturally non-attached because of their inner state. We can't achieve non-attachment simply by trying to be non-attached. That effort is the opposite of the result. It's like pretending to be the president of the United. That effort is the opposite of the result. It's like pretending to be the president of the United States. Acting the part doesn't make you the president. It's being elected to the position itself. That defines it.

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Similarly, enlightenment produces non-attachment, presence and compassion. It doesn't come from forcing those qualities. All states of compassion, radical acceptance, unconditional forgiveness, joy, generosity, non-avoidance all of these arise as a natural result of the growth of consciousness. They are effects, not the direct means of developing consciousness. That said, contemplating these qualities is still valuable. Reflecting on them helps integrate the insights and wisdom gained through meditation and other practices that support the expansion and growth of your consciousness. Anyone on this path long enough, with consistent practice and the right support, has likely experienced the moment when something that used to trigger them, for instance, no longer does. It's not because they are pretending or indifferent, it's because their consciousness has expanded. They can observe events, challenges, interact with difficult people and respond from a place of love and acceptance, without caveat.

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I know some of you might be thinking but I can't grow spiritually while juggling work, family and responsibilities, or I need to escape life to really meditate or progress. That's a common belief and it's easy to assume that peace and enlightenment only exist outside of ordinary life, but in reality it's exactly the opposite. The householder path teaches us to develop non-attachment, clarity and resilience while living fully engaged in the world. The very challenges we face difficult coworkers, messy mornings, demanding children, relationship conflicts become the catalysts for spiritual growth. In other words, real life friction is like weight training for the soul. Learning to stay present and grounded in the middle of daily life is what ultimately deepens your wisdom, compassion and inner freedom, even in the midst of chaos and responsibilities.

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There are simple, practical ways to cultivate presence, inner peace and spiritual growth in daily life. You don't need to escape a retreat to a monastery. Small, intentional habits can make a big difference, meditation being the one that I most highly recommend, because it will give you the biggest bang for your buck. Meditation is the key. It is what will fast track your growth, because it both purifies out old programming that's keeping you stuck, stress that's keeping you exhausted, while integrating new ways of being, opening up the possibility of seeing situations in a new light. Not all meditation is created equal that's a topic for another time. But if you want a method that's easy and effective, check out heartbasedmeditationcom. If that's not your thing, you can also try starting with micro moments of mindfulness, pausing for a few breaths before responding to a stressful email, noticing the sensations as you walk, maybe getting yourself a great craniosacral therapy or Reiki or massage session.

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Journaling can also be a powerful tool to process experiences and reflect on how you are responding rather than reacting. Over time, small, consistent practices create the same foundation of clarity, non-attachment and presence that intensive retreats or monastic life offers, but it's adapted to your everyday world. So let me give you some journal prompts to help you get started, to help you begin to reflect on your own beliefs about spiritual growth and the path to inner peace. Here's the first one Ask yourself have I been chasing a fast track to spiritual growth? What stories do I tell myself about the right path? Two, when life gets messy, stressful or chaotic, how do I usually react? Could these moments actually be teaching me something about myself? And the last one what would change if I fully embraced growth where I am, instead of wishing I could escape or speed it up? Just take a few minutes with these prompts and really sit with your answers. It's a simple way to bring today's ideas into your own life.

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Throughout this episode, I've been highlighting how the householder path allows for spiritual growth in daily life cultivating mindfulness, not attachment and fulfillment, without leaving your responsibilities behind. By framing spiritual growth in the context of ordinary life, we're exploring a form of practical enlightenment that's accessible to anyone. Whether you are seeking inner peace, personal transformation or ways to integrate mindfulness into your day-to-day routines, the principles we're discussing are designed to help you thrive. This approach emphasizes that modern spirituality is not about escaping reality. It's about engaging fully, growing consciously and finding presence and joy right where you are.

Speaker 1: 17:19

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss future conversations about spiritual growth, mindfulness and living a life aligned with your highest self and if it resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who's navigating this balance between daily life and spiritual development. Until next time, remember, know who you are, love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you're meant to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal and seek the support you need to thrive.