Speaker 1: 0:06

So often we focus on what's hard, what's wrong, what needs fixing. But what would your life feel like if you learned to stretch out the good moments, if you could actually grow joy, gratitude, peace every single day? And what if doing that is the real key to a more fulfilling life? That question was on my heart a lot this past weekend while I had the incredible joy of facilitating a meditation retreat where I was introducing and refreshing the heart-based meditation practice to a wonderful group of women, surrounded by these amazing ladies. I had the chance to see firsthand what happens when we pause, breathe a little deeper and let the good moments expand. I mean, the whole weekend was really magical. We were at this gorgeous farm and I stayed in one of those shipping container homes that had been beautifully remodeled. It was super cute and everybody else stayed at this home that had kind of been remodeled in this Swiss chalet mountain feel.

Speaker 1: 1:18

I feel I have to shout out to Alpine South in Tryon, north Carolina. I cannot say enough good things about our experience. Our hostess, the owner of the property, jamie, was incredible. She was so warm and accommodating. I mean she made the entire experience seamless. We had incredible food from this restaurant Stone Soup of Landrum. I know some of you are listening from far away might not care about these details, but I want to highlight them anyway because you know places that do such a good job, like Alpine South and Stone Soup. They really deserve to be celebrated for going above and beyond. So I'm just going to leave that there because I think they deserve it.

Speaker 1: 2:02

But back to the retreat. Over the course of the weekend I got to do what I love most, which is teach and share meditation in a way that helps people really understand what it's capable of. It's not just about relaxation. It can be so much more than that, and that's really what I like people to understand. You know, that, I think, is what gets missed sometimes, unfortunately, and I got to watch all these. You know, friendships either deepen or form, and after a really dark week in our country last week both because of things that happened in the past, of course, and also the things that are happening now I found this retreat so encouraging. You know, too often we only hear about the bad, the sad, the angry, but I just spent three days with people who are fully committed to being better, to becoming the best version of themselves possible, and there were so many moments in the weekend that I found myself just full of gratitude and joy and feeling completely aligned with who I am and what I want to offer this world, and it gave me an opportunity to put into practice one of my favorite concepts, which is what I want to share with you today. It's called moments of more. Here's what I mean.

Speaker 1: 3:27

Too often, when something good happens, we gloss over it. We say oh, that's nice. Or wow, that's pretty, thank you, and then we just move on. We don't pause to fully take it in, and then we wonder why we're anxious, depressed or unfulfilled. You know, there's a saying in spiritual circles where attention goes, energy flows. You'll hear it phrased a dozen different ways, but the meaning is the same Consciousness is creative. What we attend to is what we begin to see more and more of. The scientific term is confirmation bias. We see what we're looking for. Term is confirmation bias. We see what we're looking for.

Speaker 1: 4:08

And so, whatever we place our attention on, that's what grows in our awareness, and unfortunately, these days it is so easy to focus on the negative. I mean partly because we're wired for it. I mean human beings, we. I mean back in the day we needed to be. We needed to be hyper aware of our environment because, you know, saber-toothed tigers and the like I don't know if that one is actually true, I don't know if humans were at the same time as saber-toothed tigers, but you hear that referenced all the time. Anyway, it doesn't matter. You get my drift.

Speaker 1: 4:39

You know we needed to be on high alert for threats because there were so many of them, because there were so many of them. But modern day times there actually isn't that many of immediate. You know, look out for the bare moments that we have, unless you grew up in an unstable childhood, because if that were the case, then you're even more hardwired to scan for danger. I mean, hypervigilance was your friend, it was your protector. You needed to know where and when the threat was coming because you knew it was there at all times, and not to mention these days. You know our world is a little crazy. You know there's a lot going on.

Speaker 1: 5:21

We are at a tipping point of humanity. We're at a place where things are changing very quickly, where all of the systems that have been in place are crumbling because we recognize that they're no longer of humanity. We're at a place where things are changing very quickly, where all of the systems that have been in place are crumbling because we recognize that they're no longer working and that can be very chaotic and very destructive, and we're seeing that in so many different ways. So even our broader environment, let alone our home environment, is kind of setting us up to be in this place of viewing more negative than positive. But here's the thing Many of us who had that hypervigilance installed in us as children, we've outgrown the actual threats. We've moved away from them, hopefully, but our system's never quite reset.

Speaker 1: 6:05

We keep looking for danger instead of learning how to focus on the positive, the life-giving, soul-nourishing moments. And that gets reinforced by all the craziness out in the world today. And all of this is really a shame, because life is not about bracing for disaster. Life is about the good stuff, the connections. Connections we form. The joy of doing something we love, the peace of watching a sunrise or hearing the ocean waves crash, the sweetness of having our cat curl up next to us and purr extremely loudly I apologize if that's coming through on this recording the thrill of discovering a new skill, a new, new food, meeting a new friend.

Speaker 1: 6:47

But we don't always take these moments in and honor them for what they are. You know. They are a calling to our true self, a reminder of who we are meant to be, not isolated, lonely wondering what's the point bracing for the next bad thing to happen. We're meant to be deeply connected to each other, to the best versions of ourselves. These moments that we feel joy or gratitude or peace they aren't just nice. They're reminders of our true self. They are invitations back into alignment. And this isn't just a nice idea. You know.

Speaker 1: 7:26

Science shows that when we focus on positive experiences, we actually broaden our awareness, build resilience and train our brains to notice joy and gratitude more easily. Positive emotions like joy, gratitude and love expand our typical thoughts and actions, repertoire Meaning. You know we all have ways that we normally think and act. They've actually done research that shows that 80 to 90% of our thoughts are the same thoughts we had yesterday. So much of it is habitual. So some of us, those thoughts tend towards the negative. This broadening effect allows us to enhance our ability to connect with others, to be more resilient, to increase our intellectual flexibility, all of which enhances our overall well-being.

Speaker 1: 8:22

I've talked before about Dr Andrew Huberman's podcast episode, the Science of Gratitude and how to Build a Gratitude Practice. I'll link it again below, but in that, you know, he talks about how gratitude practices can activate specific neural circuits that reduce fear and inflammation while boosting motivation. He emphasizes the importance of narrative in gratitude exercises. He emphasizes the importance of narrative and gratitude exercises. You know. He suggests that telling a story where one receives help or kindness is actually more effective than simply listing things you're grateful for. And it's that story that we tell ourselves over and over and over again about the course of our day, where we focus on all the things that went wrong instead of thinking about what went right. You know, another way to strengthen this connection is to not just think about gratitude but any moment you want more of and consciously amplify it.

Speaker 1: 9:21

For example, at the retreat, I was sitting in front of the group guiding a contemplation. I was sitting in front of the group guiding a contemplation and I felt this sense of deep alignment wash over me. I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing. I am of service in a deep way, and I really felt the significance and the honor of getting to guide these women. And I didn't just nod and move on, I paused within myself and I really let myself soak it in. I let the joy and the gratitude fill me up that I can be of service in this way and truly help. I allowed myself to pause and drink it in to really amplify this sense of wonder and joy that this is what I get to do for work.

Speaker 1: 10:09

Maybe for you it's watching your daughter play with your grandkids, seeing her be an even better parent than you were, and this sense of gratitude and pride at what your child has accomplished, what they've become. Maybe it's feeling profound peace as you sit on a balcony by the ocean, exhaling a big sigh of relief like whew, I really needed this, I really needed to get away. Let me feel this peace more. Maybe it's the joy you feel while you are dancing, something that you love to do, that maybe you don't get out a whole lot to do, and so that feeling of joy as you move on the dance floor, really letting yourself feel into that, whatever the moment is, don't let it slip past. You Sit in it, feel it, ask yourself can I feel this more? Can I expand this joy, this gratitude, this peace more? How big can I let this get inside of me, make a game of it? You know, notice how many times in a day you feel even the smallest flicker of something good and, instead of dismissing it as just one moment, focus on it. Let it grow. I know I've said it before and I will definitely say it again we don't drive out the dark by focusing on more darkness, on focusing what's within the darkness, trying to figure out the darkness.

Speaker 1: 11:32

We don't heal by obsessing over our suffering. We bring in more light, we amplify joy, we feed gratitude. It is always easier to add than to subtract. Think of a diet. It's easier to load up on nourishing foods first and then notice you might even not want the pie or you might not want as big a slice of cake. Life is like that. If you spend your days seeking the dark, it's all you'll see. But if you begin, even in the smallest ways, to notice and expand the good, your world gets brighter and with enough practice, it becomes effortless to see all the ways. You're blessed.

Speaker 1: 12:15

And I want to pause here, because maybe you're listening to this and you're thinking that sounds great, but I don't even have a flicker right now. I don't even see one thing good normally and if that's you, I see you. I've been there decades really, where everything good was overshadowed by fear and anxiety. It wasn't that I never had fun, it's that that fun was always tainted. It was never purely good. There was always a sense of the rug's going to get pulled out from under me, something is going to ruin this, that bracing, that foreboding joy that I've talked about before. So if that's you, I get it. I see you and I hear you. But please hear me. There is hope. You just have to start somewhere. Start small. Notice even the tiniest flicker of something not so bad. Let yourself feel that, even just for a breath. And if that feels scary, find someone to hold your hand, a friend, a mentor, a therapist.

Speaker 1: 13:19

Glennon Doyle always says you can do hard things. That's like her tagline. Well, maybe that becomes your mantra I can do hard things. That's like her tagline. Well, maybe that becomes your mantra I can do hard things. And maybe for you, allowing yourself to experience the moments of good, the moments of joy, or even a little bit of happiness, or even a little bit of peace, maybe that's scary. And if you already notice those flickers, well, challenge yourself, ask yourself can I let this expand, can I let this good soak through my whole being? Take three deep breaths as you notice what you want to bring in and consciously try to expand that feeling deeper within you, deeper with every inhale, and just see what happens within you, deeper with every inhale, and just see what happens.

Speaker 1: 14:08

At the retreat, I found myself feeling more and more joy as the weekend unfolded. I mean watching these five women step into the presence of possibility, of opening to what life might be offering them and what a meditation practice could bring and in some cases, is already bringing. It was a gift. You know. I walked away also learning so much, you know, noticing what I'll do differently next time, what I want to emphasize even more. I mean all of that became clear because I was consciously pausing to breathe the moments in more deeply, not ignoring the struggles or bypassing what was hard, but choosing to highlight the beauty that was right there, waiting to be received. And that's what made it easier to be with the moments where I realized, oh, this isn't landing. Or oh, I think I said that in a way that didn't quite get things across well, or oh, I think I need to pivot and do something differently so that there will be more clear expectations next time. It was easier to move with those moments because I was in such a state of being present to the things that were going well.

Speaker 1: 15:15

So to help you explore this, I want to give you three journal or thought prompts, if journaling's not your thing. So the first one think back to a recent moment that made you feel a spark of joy, peace or gratitude. How can you expand that memory right now? What details do you want to remember? Number two where do you notice your attention going most often Toward the dark or toward the light? If it's towards the dark, what would it look like to redirect your focus to consciously try to pay more attention to the good things? And number three if you could invite in more of one feeling this week joy, gratitude, peace, compassion what would you choose? And why? Just get curious this week, play around with finding these moments of more in your own life more joy, more peace, more gratitude, and may they remind you that the light is always there, just waiting for you to notice.

Speaker 1: 16:21

Thanks so much for listening today. If you'd like to stay connected, you can always visit risingwithsarahcom to sign up for my newsletter and be the first to know about new retreats and offerings designed to help you live with more joy and authenticity and remember, know who you are, love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you're meant to be. And be willing to do the work to become who you're meant to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal and seek the support you need to thrive.