Spotting Limiting Self-Talk

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Do you ever catch yourself saying, I can't, I shouldn't, I have to, they made me? Have you ever noticed that your own words might be keeping you stuck? If so, today's episode is for you. We're looking at how your language fuels limiting beliefs, and I'll share a simple three-step process to shift your self-talk and step into authentic alignment.

Show Purpose and Format

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Welcome to Roots of the Rise with Me, Sarah Hope, where spiritual wisdom meets practical tools in short, bite-sized episodes. These are tasters, not deep dives, designed to spark curiosity and guide you toward authentic alignment so you can discover who you truly are, release what holds you back, and rise into your best. Today we're going a little deeper into limiting beliefs and exploring how our language either fuels or dispels them. First, just a little review. Most limiting beliefs run unconsciously, shaping our behavior without us even realizing it. In episode 99, I talked about six of the most common limiting beliefs, those quiet but powerful thoughts like I'm not enough, I don't belong, or it's too late for me. We looked at how these beliefs show up in our lives, often as resignation, self-doubt, patterns that keep us playing small, and how quietly they pull us out of alignment with who we truly are. We discussed the importance of being aware of our limiting beliefs. And today I want to talk about one of the ways we can do that, which is paying attention to our language. There are so many ways limiting language shows up. So today I want to just give you seven, which is like way too many to cover, but uh, they're the big ones. They're the big red flags to start noticing in your own words and how you speak about yourself, your life, and other people.

Limiting Beliefs in Limiting Language

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So limiting beliefs often sneak into how we speak, most commonly showing up as phrases like, I can't, I'd never, that's impossible, you know, I could never start my own business. I can't handle this situation. A more subtle, difficult-to-spot version of this is also the use of assumptions in your language, like my children or my parents don't love me, or my boss hates me. Unless they have come right out inside it, which I know might be the case, but maybe isn't, it's just an assumption. It's you reading into somebody else's behavior. You also want to watch out for if-then statements that presuppose outcomes, like another version of assumptions, essentially. If she liked me, she wouldn't have limited our lunch to one hour. That's that if-then, that is an assumption. So, in all these cases, what you want to do is ask yourself, how do I know this is true? Byron Cady's Loving What Is, her book Loving What Is, fabulous for this. I, you know, I reference this book all the time. I really need to do just an episode on it. Note to self. Anyway, notice when your words are shutting down possibilities and reinforcing a story you've been telling yourself that maybe doesn't have actual factual evidence. Okay,

Globalizations and Generalizations

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number two, uh globalizations and generalizations. We also limit ourselves when we make sweeping statements. Words like always, never, everyone, everything. These are red flags. I am always misunderstood. Everyone is leaving me behind. This type of language, it flattens experience into a single label, like saying, I'm afraid, without noticing what specifically triggers the fear. For example, I'm afraid. Well, then you want to ask yourself, afraid of what exactly? My mother isn't proud of me. Well, how do you know she isn't proud? What event triggered that feeling? Now, with all of these things, I'm not saying that you're always wrong. Um, maybe your mother isn't proud of you. But the thing that we want to understand is that so often we make these generalizations or these globalizations, and it's because we make them so big that we create problems. Like whenever your language turns a complex situation into a black and white narrative, that's a cue to explore the specifics and try to see reality more fully.

Internalized Rules From Others

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All right, number three, internalized rules from others. We often speak as though we are bound by rules that aren't actually ours. I should, I must, I have to, I should exercise more. I must do the dishes before bed every night. Language that assigns responsibility to others for our emotions is another red flag that's part of this. My husband makes me insecure. My father upsets me. Notice the pattern, makes me upsets me, frustrates me, angers me. I mean, these statements reveal where we might be giving away our power and overlooking our own responsibility for how we respond.

Cause and Effect Errors

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This is very similar to cause and effect errors. You know, a common trap is believing that external events or people cause our feelings. She makes me sad. I'm upset because he forgot my birthday. The truth is, our feelings are responses to situations, not caused by them. Ask yourself things like, is it always this way? How specifically does this make me feel? That's how we start reclaiming emotional responsibility. I mean, think about how this plays out in everyday life. Like when someone doesn't text back right away. On one day, you might just shrug it off and move on. It means nothing. You don't even think twice. But on another day, the same thing, them not writing you back, that might send you spiraling into worry or irritation or anxiety. The situation didn't change. It's still just someone not texting you back right away. You changed. Your perception of things changed. That's how we know it's never really about the other person's actions. It's always about how we perceive and interpret them.

Incomplete Models

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Okay, next one. Incomplete models. When our language is vague or lacks detail, it often reflects an incomplete mental model. Words like clearly, obviously, or comparisons with no reference point, these are red flags. She is better. Better than whom. Compared to what. I mean, goodness, that's definitely something I say all the time. But it's immediately followed by questions like, okay, what is overwhelming me right now? What's under in my control? What can I actually do about this situation? What can't I? You know, how can I support myself in this overwhelm? It's never just simply I'm getting overwhelmed. End statement. You don't think about any deeper. No, you've got to explore so that you get a more complete picture of what's going on. Okay, two more. Confounding

Confounding Judgments and Observations

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observations with judgments and evaluations. This is a big one. We often mix facts with judgments. She is irresponsible. That principle is egotistical. The red flag is language that evaluates rather than observes. So you want to ask yourself, okay, what observable behavior actually supports this? She's irresponsible. Well, the observable behavior might be she keeps leaving the side door open when she comes home. You want to notice when you're projecting fear or bias onto reality, because that will help you see the situation more clearly. I talk about this uh in more detail in episodes 93 and 22, so I'll link those in the show notes.

Confounding Requests, Demands, and Needs

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Okay, last one: confounding requests, demands, and needs. We can limit ourselves by confusing requests with demands. Take the statement: I asked my spouse to travel with me, but I'm really upset that they said no because I'm so afraid of flying, and I really needed them to go with me. So, in that statement, we're revealing that the fear is being treated as a must, as a need. Needs often feel urgent because of fear, not actual necessity. And how do we know the difference between a request and a demand? By how we respond if the request is denied. So you always want to ask yourself, is this a true request or am I making a demand? How else could I meet this need if my request is denied? You know, recognizing this in your own language expands possibilities. It helps you meet your needs internally rather than relying solely on others. Listen to episode 69 for more on this. I'll link it. Clearly, there are so many ways our language can limit us. I've only scratched the surface here. That was kind of a lot for a very surface-level exploration. But that's really what we're about here, right? Giving you the broad stroke so you can reflect on whether going deeper might be helpful for you. So now that we've covered some of the common forms of limiting

3 Step Process

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language, let's talk about a simple process you can use to start working with your limiting beliefs.

1- Awareness

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First of all, awareness is key. It always is. Limiting beliefs often show up through the kinds of language we talked about today. So notice which examples made you perk up. Did you recognize yourself in one of them? You want to pay attention anytime you say or think things like I can't, I must, I should, I have to, they made me. Really, whatever made you wince or got your hackles up a little bit as you listened is worth noticing. If you don't think you say these things out loud, ask a spouse, a partner, a friend, a coworker to let you know if they hear any of these things or when they hear it. Also, watch for patterns of fear, avoidance, or self-judgment. Journaling or reflecting on recurring negative thoughts can help us uncover the beliefs behind them. So ask yourself, you know, when I say or think I can't, what belief am I holding about myself?

2- Challenge

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Challenge the belief is step two. You know, limiting beliefs are often based on assumptions, generalizations, incomplete models, not objective truth. So the second step we really have to do here is to challenge it, to test the belief. Ask questions like, is this really true or just a story I've been telling myself? What evidence contradicts this belief? Is this belief serving me or keeping me stuck? For example, if you believe I have to be perfect to be accepted, ask yourself, do people love me even when I make mistakes? Again, Byron Cady's loving what is a great resource for

3- Reframe

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this. All right, third step, reframe the belief and act differently. Beliefs are reinforced by thought, language, and behavior. Choosing new thoughts, taking aligned action rewires the brain. You can start by picking a liberating affirmation that reflects possibility and self-acceptance, and then take small actions that contradict the old belief. So I want to give you affirmations and small supportive actions you can take for the limiting beliefs I went over in episode 99.

Affirmations and Actions for 6 Limiting Beliefs

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So the first one, the first limiting belief, I'm not enough. The affirmation, I am enough exactly as I am. My worth is not something I have to prove. A supportive act might be choosing to purposefully not do a chore at night. You do only because you feel you have to, like getting all the dishes done, even when you really could not care less about them and you don't feel like it. Limiting belief number two. Affirmation. Failure is feedback, not identity. Every step forward is growth. A supportive action. Look back at a time you perceive yourself as having failed and see if you can find one positive benefit of that failure. Maybe you failed to get a job you wanted. But it turned out that the next one you interviewed for became your dream job, even better than you had hoped. This is somewhat of a find the silver linings exercise. All right, limiting belief number three, other people's needs are more important than mine. Affirmation, my needs are just as important as others. Taking care of myself allows me to give authentically. Supportive action you could take. The next time someone asks you asks you to do something that you immediately feel in your gut you don't want to do because you just know it's going to overextend you, say no. Or if that's too hard, because I get it, sometimes it is, we need baby steps. A smaller action, a baby step, might be seeing if you can come up with a form of involvement that's less intense. For instance, someone wants you to chair a committee. Instead of saying yes or no, say, I want to be involved, but I don't have the time right now to be fully in charge. May I just be on the board instead? Like find a half measure that allows you to take care of yourself while also making it so that you don't completely freak out for saying no because that's so out of character for you. Okay, limiting belief number four, it's too late for me. An affirmation might be it is never too late to align with what matters. Supportive action you can take. If there's something you've really wanted to do, like take art lessons, for instance, just go on and sign up for a six-week class. So what if you're awful? So what if you know you're going to be the oldest person in class? You know, please see limiting belief about failure. Just do it, right? Align with what matters to you. Limiting belief number five. If I show who I really am, I'll be rejected. Affirmation: the right people will love and accept me for who I truly am. My authenticity creates belonging. Join a meetup group of people who like the same things you do. So what if you are a hardcore, I don't know, the Star Trek fan. Like there are a million people out there who love it just like you do. Find them. Find your people. Check out Meetup online. There are groups for every possible hobby you could think of. Your people are out there. All right, number six, limiting belief. I don't have enough. Fill in the blank. An affirmation would be: I have more than enough. All my needs are met. A supportive action, gratitude practice. Listen to episode four. It is all about this. A gratitude practice will combat any scarcity mindset. So check that episode out. Okay. So awareness, challenge, and reframe. That is the process for living more authentically, one step and one moment at a time, letting go of your limiting beliefs. You know, limiting beliefs, they act like filters that shrink what's possible. Liberating beliefs act like lenses that expand it. So start by noticing the language you use, the stories you tell yourself, and the patterns that repeat in your life. Then challenge the assumptions and the beliefs that no longer serve you. Finally, reframe them with language, thoughts, and actions that reflect possibility, self-acceptance, and authenticity. That's how you move beyond old patterns and integrate liberating beliefs, because real transformation does not happen overnight. It happens through small, consistent steps grounded in self-compassion. So ask yourself: which lens do you want to look through? The one that limits you or the one that opens you to your limitless potential? That's all for today. Thanks so much for listening. If you have any questions or want to suggest a topic, please email me at Sarah at risingwithsarah.com. Have a wonderful weekend, and remember, know who you are, love who you've been, and be willing to do the work to become who you're meant to be. Just a quick reminder this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist, or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal, and seek the support you need to thrive.