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Welcome to Roots of Arise with me , sarah Hope . Today we're talking about our programming related to emotions and sexuality , our right to feel , especially to feel pleasure . If you find emotional regulation difficult , tapping into passion events with a challenge today might be helpful . In episode 42 , I introduced you to the chakra system and we went over kind of a brief general overview . We talked about the first chakra in more detail in episode 43 , and in the few episodes since we focused on issues related to the root chakra , to safety and security . Today we move on to the second chakra . I'll give a broad overview and we'll talk about related themes this week . Before we get into it , I just want to reemphasize that you don't need to be a believer of energy systems in order for this to be a useful episode for you , a useful inquiry for you . If you have emotions

Introduction to Second Chakra

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which we all do , whether or not they're easy for us , any investigation into the second chakra could be helpful , because that's really all it's about . It's about emotions and our pleasure versus pain , about guilt , about creativity . So while , yes , I'm going to give some information today related to the energetic understanding of the second chakra , you can just ignore all that , skip over it . It'll be brief and really focus on the more mental and definitely emotional side of what we discuss . Do just try to keep an open mind , though , of what we discuss . Do just try to keep an open mind , though , curiosity remember . So let's get into covering some basics .

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I apologize in advance if I mispronounce the Sanskrit name . It is Swadhisthana , which means one's own abode or dwelling place of the self . I've also heard it more poetically described as where we drink with delight in the sweet waters of pleasure , which makes sense because the element is water and it is the location of our programming related to sexuality , sensation , pleasure , movement and emotions . It is often associated with the color orange and it's located in the sacrum , the lower abdomen , about four inches below the belly button , kind of centered between the navel and the genitals . Now , we always want to recognize that the chakras are their own individual energy centers , but we don't want to think of them as being isolated . They are all connected . They are part of a whole , so we can think about how they dynamically interact with one another . I covered that more broadly in the introductory episode , so go back and listen to that .

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If you haven't , I'll link it below , but specifically in regards to the second and the first . For instance , you can think of the first being like a cup holding the water of the second . So without appropriate containment , water flows out and the cup runs dry . Meaning , if you don't have kind of a solid root chakra , a solid foundation , the watery emotions of the second kind of run all over the place , whereas if there's too much containment , the water can't flow at all and it becomes stagnant and dull . Ideally , we want it like one of those fountains that water pours into the cup and then it fills and then it spills out . We want the root to be strong and stable , but also , you know , having a little bit of flexibility right . And we want the water to be moving at a manageable pace , not a raging river , not a tiny trickle of barely anything there . We want it like one of those fountains where it's flowing , filling up the cup and then spilling over , and the watery flow I'm referencing is the flow of our emotions .

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The

Childhood Development and Emotional Programming

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second chakra is developed between six months and two years approximately . Again , this isn't like , oh , you turn six months old and the second chakra switches on . No , we always have it . It's not like it doesn't exist prior to six months , it's just this stage of life . The six months to two years is when it really primarily gets its programming installed . This is when we begin our exploration of the world . You know , it's when we first are able to sit up , we start to be able to move ourselves , and it's also where we go from this feeling of deep unity with our mother to recognizing that , oh , there's a difference , a recognition of self versus the other . You know , we long to reach out and to grow , to change . But that's also really scary because up until this point our mom was basically the same as us . So there's this need to kind of repeatedly run back to mom . Just , our safety of our mother is still there . Well , that's what gives us kind of the confidence and the security to be able to separate safely . You know , the constancy of our primary caregiver is what makes it safe for us to explore .

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One problem that can happen is if a caregiver responds poorly when a child goes to do this , to explore their emotions or assert their individuality . If the child isn't allowed to naturally separate and express themselves , especially when strong emotions surface and the caregiver meets those emotions with fear , rejection , punishment or shame , the child learns a dangerous lesson . I can only feel what makes my parent comfortable . Over time , the child develops a false sense of self , one shaped not by their inner world but by the expectations of others , and this sets the stage for a life disconnected from authenticity . This is what happened to me . I was not allowed to feel what I felt . It was always expected and required of me to place my mother's emotional well-being ahead of my own . That was my job . Yes , I know now that it wasn't my responsibility , but it was my reality .

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Another potential symptom of this same pattern is emotional dependency an inability to connect with or understand your own emotions while being highly attuned to the feelings of others . Hypervigilance often develops where someone might struggle to identify what they're feeling , but can easily tell you what everyone else in the room is experiencing . It's important to recognize that this is not a flaw , but a deeply intelligent and adaptive response . As a child , this person learned my emotions don't matter . What matters is tracking everyone else's mood so I can stay safe In the face of emotional volatility . Their system prioritized external awareness as a survival strategy . The unfortunate thing is that , if this goes on long enough , that child's inner emotional voice will become so quiet , so muted , that they no longer can hear it and they depend on other people to provide them with their emotional state .

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The basic right of the second chakra is to feel . Therefore , the illusion is I don't have the right to feel , especially pleasure . When pleasure is denied , an important part of our second chakra programming doesn't get installed , which creates someone who is missing wholeness but doesn't know what it is , how to find it , or maybe even that it's missing . So we can see this kind of lack of pleasure . We can see people who say I don't really enjoy much of anything . You know , the purpose here is to let go , is to create flow . Whereas with the first it was to hold on and create structure , the second is really more about movement and what stimulates movement pleasure and pain , I mean . We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain . They are feedback systems for us . So when pleasure is denied , we disown our right to it . We feel guilt for wanting it , we feel ashamed of having it . When primary , healthy pleasures are denied , secondary pleasures can take over , like drinking drugs , sexually acting out overeating , doom scrolling . Since these pleasures can't really satisfy what we truly deeply long for , our lack of satisfaction makes us crave them more and this is why addiction is one of the primary indicators of second chakra imbalance .

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Another experience that can create problems in the second chakra is lack of sensory input . So if a child is not held often enough , which really helps them regulate their central nervous system , this longing , this need to be held can arise and they end up kind of looking for that missing experience . And if it becomes , if they never get it , they can kind of become numb . Children deprived of touch tend to go on to deprive themselves of touch , denying the need . If overstimulated , the child can become overcharged and that excess energy has to go somewhere . So it typically happens in outbursts of crying or of anger , and that can become a lifelong habit . A child can also learn to begin to distrust their own senses if it does not result in a need being met . For instance , if they're crying because they're hungry but they don't get fed , if they're scared and they just want to be held but they get ignored , well then their senses seem to have given them erroneous information and so they begin to distrust themselves . They kind of shut down .

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We talked a little bit about this with the root chakra trust , mistrust . See how they all connect , how they're all intertwined with the second chakra . It's more about not trusting your own feedback system , not trusting're all intertwined With the second chakra . It's more about not trusting your own feedback system , not trusting that own inner voice .

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Obviously , abuse of any sort so sexual abuse in particular , whether it's covert or open , I mean that doesn't just do damage to the second , that does damage to everything . The younger it occurs , the more devastating the effects . You know , what happens when we have sex is we dissolve boundaries . There is a fusion that occurs , especially on an energetic level , and a big part of developing the second chakra is developing boundaries . It's that separation that's happening . So it can become very hard to form boundaries and it also confuses the pleasure pain dynamic . The physical experience might be pleasurable , while the mental , emotional pain and suffering is profound . It's difficult for an adult to process , let alone a child . How do you integrate how these two different things that are so in opposition can be true ? We also can see problems in the second chakra with things like neglect , coldness , overuse of playpen , or like restriction of normal movement , religious or moral severity , anti-pleasure and , of course , physical abuse . So I've touched already on some of the manifestations of a damaged second chakra .

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Addiction is a big one . It's that constant pleasure rush , avoiding pain , using drugs , work , sex . It's a craving of stimulation . Think about what happens when you drink . It lessens that inhibiting control of the conscious mind , which allows this release of energy . You're more capable of being spontaneous , making jokes , you feel more relaxed . The problem is that there's no integration with the release . There's just plain expression , not integration . The relief is only temporary and that's what leads to addiction .

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I've also mentioned poor boundaries , becoming emotionally dependent . We also see the opposite really rigid boundaries or frigidity , and this is usually due to a complete lack of programming , for instance , being raised in an emotionally cold household or having the need to suppress emotions in order to tolerate an otherwise intolerable situation . We can also see what is sometimes called crisis junkies . You know the hysterics , the drama queens . These are people who feel most at home , most alive , in states of emotional intensity . Sometimes that's the only time that they truly feel alive . We'll talk about that a little bit when we talk about emotions sometime this week .

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Then , on the other end of the spectrum are those who are afraid to feel at all . Sometimes the fear is specific , like the fear of anger . Maybe their father's anger was tied to physical abuse and now the emotion itself feels dangerous . What might it unleash ? I once had a client tell me she was afraid of turning into the Hulk not literally , but definitely figuratively . Other times it's a general fear of emotion .

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A lot of people carry this . I know I did For a really long time . I was terrified that if I let myself feel the full weight of the pain I was carrying , it would consume me . I believed that if I let it out I might never recover . Many people share this fear , especially if in the past feeling deeply led to destructive coping mechanisms like eating disorders , addiction , self-harm . There's a sense of if I let myself feel bad again , I might never come back from it . So we shut down . But the problem is , when we numb ourselves to pain , we also numb ourselves to joy . You don't get to pick and choose . You either feel or you don't . Many people vacillate between either excessive emotion or complete emotional shutdown . The thing is we don't want to be either or

Healing and Moving Forward

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right . We want to be like one of those kids toys that are weighted on the bottom , that no matter how many times you try to knock them over , they just completely right themselves . That's what we want . That's the touchstone of a healed , healthy .

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Second chakra is the ability to feel deeply , to feel excessive joy , to feel deep sorrow , but to be able to come back to a steady , solid center . Having said all that , I know you're wondering well , how do I get there ? If I have emotional regulation issues , if I struggle with boundaries or with addiction or with my sexuality ? How do I heal any second chakra challenges ? Well , movement is a good place to start . We essentially need energy to move to center . So where it's restricted , we need to encourage expression . Where it is overly expressive , we need to encourage containment .

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We cannot heal what we cannot feel that's a John Bradshaw quote , but you've heard it , I'm sure , many times is just feel it to heal it , and we need to do that . We need to reclaim our right to feel . We need to remove the guilt , to work on our emotional intelligence , and that's something we'll definitely talk about this week . We need to do boundary work , making sure that we have smart boundaries , not rigid ones that don't let anyone in , not loosey , goosey ones that let everyone in , but smart boundaries that allow people who are life-serving and supportive to be part of our lives in a really connected way , and to keep out the people who are toxic . We need to work with any of the problems that have arisen because of the dysfunction . So if addiction is a problem , we'll doing addiction counseling , that kind of thing .

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We need to allow ourselves pleasure . This is the pleasure center . I mean . This is where our sexuality lives . So if we have hangups with our sexuality , if we have difficulty allowing us to experience pleasure in general , we need to work with that . Even you know it's a good thing to like give yourself an assignment to do one thing every day that you find pleasurable . So those are the broad strokes . Obviously you can get much more detailed . There is a lot more to it , but that's not what we're doing today . If you want to go deeper , I am linking resources below . I highly recommend both of the Judith books . They're great . She's got some great supportive recommendations .

Questions for Self-Reflection

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The last thing I wanted to do today is just give you some questions to ponder about your relationship with your second chakra . So here they are . How was pleasure regarded in your family ? Was it frowned upon or indulged in ? Did your family take time for pleasure , for vacations , to play , to laugh together ?

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What is your first instinct when you feel a strong emotion ? Do you express it , suppress it , analyze it , avoid it ? What messages did you receive while you were growing up about expressing emotions ? Were you encouraged to share how you felt , or were you punished or ignored for it ? And lastly , do you notice any patterns or cycles in how you respond to emotional discomfort ? This might be something like binge eating , doom scrolling or any other addictive habit . Okay , guys , that is it for today . We are going to be dealing with second chakra issues all this week . So guilt , sexuality , emotions in general . Please , if you have any questions , you can either click the message me button if you're listening on Spotify or email me at rootsoftherise at gmailcom . I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day and remember , know who you are , love who you've been and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be .